Do you feel like you are on autopilot in your life and your relationship? Do you feel like you do the same thing every day? Do you feel like you are just “getting through” every day, and you wake up the following day to do the same thing over again? This, my friends, is survival mode. Soo monotonous and predictable! Many people live like this, but it doesn’t make it healthy or ideal.
If you’re in survival mode, please do yourself a favor and spice up your life a little bit.
Studies have shown that changing up your routine and the rigidness of your daily life can make a huge difference in your overall wellness and happiness, especially in your romantic relationship. For example, have spontaneous sex or plan a surprise night out on the town and blindfold your significant other on the way there. Or you can make a tiny change like taking a different route to work in the morning or eat something different for lunch. Monotony in life usually is highly correlated with monotony in your relationship.
For things to grow, they need to be paid attention to and changed up a bit from time to time.
Going through life “asleep” means you are not paying enough attention, and there’s not enough meaning and purpose. Be intentional about your life. Life is short, and you never want to look back and wonder where the years went while you were sleeping. Being intentional in life and especially in your relationship can make a world of difference.
The cool thing about relationships is that when one person steps up to the plate, so to speak, the other one follows suit. For example, if you want to spice up your relationship, be spontaneous and plan a surprise night out with your significant other. I promise that it will be incredibly uplifting for both of you, and it will re-ignite that passion you had that got lost in the monotony of every day. Alternatively, buy tickets to somewhere you’ve wanted to travel to but “never had time for.” You DO have time; you know why? Because your relationship should be the priority in life and you always have time for your utmost priorities in life; Why? Because they are priorities!
Would you neglect a big project at work because you didn’t have time for it? No, you wouldn’t because there would be repercussions. Look at your relationship like this; the repercussion is a lackluster and, dare I say, dull and lifeless relationship. If you had the passion once upon a time, you CAN bring it back.
Both parties in the relationship have the capability to grow and THRIVE, not just survive.
What is it that you’re missing? Fix it? Communicate it! What is it that you desire that will help you grow and thrive? Obtain it? How do I know you can do this? Because I believe in the abundance in the universe, and I think you should too! TRUST that whatever you need to thrive, you will make manifest simply because you TRUST!
I was working with a client recently, and I pointed out to her that what I was observing about her was someone who was dying to be thriving in her life. Still, she was just holding herself back until she started to do the inner work needed to heal, and then she indeed started to thrive.
I was curious what my client’s definition of “thriving” was because it seems as though there can be multiple ways of looking at it, so we broke down what thriving means. It was interesting to hear that, to her, there is a huge component of “balance” when it comes to thriving and I agreed. I believe that thriving means operating to the best of your ability on all cylinders, body, mind, and spirit, and that’s where the balance comes in. You don’t want to just be excellent at communication in your relationship and fail at trust, or you don’t want to have an incredible emotional connection, but the physical connection isn’t there. You want to have balance, and that is the truth.
Thriving doesn’t mean total and utter success as an extreme which I believe people interpret it as. Instead, thriving has a calmer, more peaceful energy to it. When you are thriving in your relationship, you are in the flow!
So, how can a couple who feels like they are in survival mode shift into thriving mode? It’s easy, as long as you remain authentic to yourself and each other. Here are some tips!
Have Compassion and Empathy:
When a couple has compassion and empathy for one another, they cultivate room for the relationship to grow and thrive. Without compassion, the relationship will remain stagnant, inauthentic, and surface.
Truly listen, see and hear one another:
When people feel seen and heard in a relationship, they also feel loved. The opposite is feeling lonely, which is survival mode versus thriving mode.
Be each other’s biggest fans and build one another up:
Supporting one another’s dreams and goals enforces an already strong relationship. It allows each person to grow individually, grow and thrive together when there is a mutual strong support system within the relationship.
Confide in one another:
Trust is HUGE! To have a thriving relationship, there has to be an immense amount of trust. A couple that trusts each other 100% feels at peace. It’s imperative to feel peaceful inside yourself and in the relationship to thrive together and be that power couple.
Have new experiences together:
Learning and growing together and experiencing new things helps a couple to feel more bonded and validates that they are on the right thriving path. Learning something new feels enlivening, and when two people can experience and learn something new together, they take it to the next level of love and thrive in the relationship and life itself.
Be completely open, honest, and raw in your relationship.
Being anything less than authentic is a waste of time, and it only takes away from the meaning and purpose of your relationship. And more importantly, you can’t thrive if you’re not authentic. Be an “open book,” and most importantly, have an open heart, a heart that gives and receives love just as easily and gives love willingly; THAT right there is the magic – the most crucial aspect to thriving.
Moving forward, be intentional and conscious in your relationship. Be present. Look at each other as your biggest priority. Treat each other as the gift and gem that you both are and deserve to be treated as. Adore one another, and share your light. When two people come together who are lit up, their lights come together and create magic. Watch out, world; that’s some pretty powerful stuff right there! The more time goes on and the more people who elevate and awaken, the more thriving couples there will be, and it will serve the greater good for all. Wow, look how you have the potential to change the world just by thriving in your relationship.
Jaime Bronstein is a relationship therapist, coach and host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio. She was named the “#1 Relationship Coach Transforming Lives in 2020” by Yahoo Finance. For the past 20 years, Jaime has been teaching her clients how to heal their past, love themselves unconditionally, how to be vulnerable, tap into their inner strengths and intuition, and live more authentically to achieve their relationship goals. Jaime is highly sought-after to share her relationship advice on various media outlets such as KTLA, ABC, NBC and CBS News, PEOPLE, Thrive Global, and Bustle. Jaime empowers her clients to become aware of the fact that they were born to have love in their lives – not just any love – the right love for them. Jaime has a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Boston University, a master’s degree in social work from New York University, and a certificate in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. Jaime’s book on manifesting love is currently in the works. Find her online at www.therelationshipexpert.com and catch her on-camera radio show. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. To check out some of Jaime’s work, click on her sizzle reel link: https://vimeo.com/371954437.