For Personal Growth There’s One Question to Ask Yourself


For personal growth, there’s one question to ask yourself. And this is “Who am I really?”

It’s time for you to get inside yourself and know the real you. What drives you, inspires you, makes you come alive?

What do you feel your purpose is? And what gives you overwhelming happiness and joy?

If mentioning who you really are has brought up thoughts about your perceived flaws or inadequacies, just sit with yourself a moment. Where did this way of thinking come from?

Were you constantly berated as a kid? Did you never seem to measure up to the people you valued and Loved in your life?

Is looking at what you don’t like and focusing on that something that’s a long-term pattern in your life or your family?

Most importantly, how does it feel to focus on what you don’t like about yourself? There’s no way that feels good.

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Why do we put ourselves through this constant negativity?

There’s a part of yourself that you’ve likely rejected. Most of us reject ourselves before someone else does. We’re conditioned from a young age to try and fit in because it seems scary to stand alone. Some people are naturally gifted with the strength and solidarity to be their own person. Others are not.

I wasn’t someone who was brought up to stand alone in my strength. Part of this is because I was a scrawny, skinny little dude my whole life growing up. And physically speaking, I still have those characteristics to this day. But my heart and mindset are in a completely different place now.

I used to think that to be respected, liked, and revered you had to be tall, muscular, and exude a strong physical prowess. Being a dude, machismo is something I have faced and endured from the pervasive masculine culture.

Be a man” came with all sorts of underlying meanings and interpretations, many of them fostering disrespectful attitudes towards both men and women. It comes with this ideal of physical power being the dominating attribute of a real male figure.

But that’s bullshit. Let’s just be honest and direct. The body isn’t the master. The soul and spirit are. That’s where the Divine connection happens. Everything else-heart, mind, and body-fall in line.

You can’t know the real you if you only look at yourself through the jaded lens of other people’s perspectives and beliefs. And then try to take their ideologies on as your own.

You are more than your physical body. Or as John Mayer sings, “I’m bigger than my body gives me credit for.”

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You have superpowers, but do you know what they are?

You may be physically powerful and strong. Maybe athleticism is one of your gifts. But what makes you a great athlete is more than just the feats your body is capable of. What inner strengths and qualities do you have that make you unique?

I have the ability to see and identify other people’s inner superpowers (or inner strengths). I can see how the light and gold inside of them operates and empower them to see themselves more fully.

My #1 Love language is words of affirmation/encouragement. Yet it’s using this Love language in a way that shows other people who they truly are (and who they can be) that is one special aspect of me that makes me unique.

In using this superpower, I inspire people who feel hopeless, stuck, small, and broken to see who they truly are and embrace the Love within them.

At one point in time, I felt very weak and insignificant. I struggled with my self-worth and self-concept. I placed all of my confidence in what other people thought of me. And yet I didn’t believe that they really Loved or wanted me.

I was constantly waiting to be rejected. It was an unconscious/subconscious belief that permeated my thoughts and attitude.

What you focus on grows

And what you hold to be true in your mind, whether it’s a conscious or subconscious belief, you attract into your life and becomes your experience.

I got married right out of college to my best friend. I thought that marrying my bestie would save me from ever being rejected or abandoned. Actually, I thought getting married would protect me from rejection.

But that’s not how life works. I got what I believed would happen. I didn’t believe in my worthiness. I didn’t Love myself.

I rejected me. So after about 12 years, my wife did too. My journey forward from this into learning how to truly Love and accept myself is told in my book Be Solid: How To Go Through Hell & Come Out Whole.

Your inner beliefs are reflected back to you through your experiences and relationships

Neville Goddard teaches that “everyone is you pushed out.” Meaning, your experiences and relationships reflect what you believe inside your mind and carry in your heart.

The ways people show up in your world reflect what you believe (at a fundamental and subconscious level) about yourself and about others.

This means that when you’re treated poorly by others, instead of blaming them for their behavior towards you, go within yourself and look at your core beliefs.

Jesus asked his disciples, “Who do you say that I Am?” This question wasn’t about the disciples perspective or opinions on Jesus. It was about the nature of God within them, the I Am that lives inside all of us.

When you don’t know, Love, or respect yourself, you believe all kinds of things about yourself using the name of God, the I Am modifier. You may say or think “I am not good enough,” or “I am weak,” or “I am ugly.”

When you do this, you’re attaching unloving attributes on the God-force inside of you, on the true self that you are. This is taking God’s name in vain. You can say Goddamn all day and not be speaking as much ill of the creator as you are when you attach something that isn’t Loving, abundant, or good after “I Am.”

Who do you say “I Am”?

When you think of yourself, can you see the Love that is infinite and divine and truly good at work in you? Can you see and feel the presence of the Creator alive within you? I hope so.

If not, let that be your task and your focus for today.

Let the real you come out. The you that has been hidden away because the real you doesn’t fit into the boxes that society or culture or popular media promotes or accepts as “cool.”

Screw that! You weren’t made to fit into anyone else’s box or criteria. If you’ve sought acceptance and validation from others to have a feeling of worthiness, let that go. You are worthy.

Simply affirming yourself by saying “I Am Worthy” feels good. And it’s a way of seeing the Creator, the God, the Almighty Love that lives in you. Making this declaration amplifies the frequency of goodness within. And you see yourself for who you truly are.

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Get to know the real you

It’s time you got to know the king or queen that you really are. Change how you think, feel, see, speak of/talk about yourself. High value appreciates, is lifted up, and rises.

What you put your focus on grows. Focus is like fertilizer. You can fertilize negative or positive things, healthy or dysfunctional patterns, successful or unsuccessful beliefs. Which do you want?

Focus on the good, on the God, within.

Are there things inside you that you do you not want? Throw it out! And look at it no more.

Do you know who you want to be? Whether you believe in yourself or not, walk in your full self or are self-crippled, choose today to stand in your power.

Who Do You Want To Be???

Write this down. Write down how you see yourself now and who you want to transform into.

Who do you want to be next year, in the next 5 years or 10 years? Cast a vision for the person you want to become.

Look at your whole life including your relationships, family, romantic partner (or dream of a romantic partner if you’re single), career and business, friendships, hobbies, money, etc. Dream big. You are expansive and abundant.

Don’t think small and what you think is possible for you now.

Your imagination is the key. Plant seeds of Love in your mind that are like mustard seeds. Mustard seeds are small when you hold them in your hand but they become massive plants that take several people to harvest.

Mustard seeds are metaphors for faith. Trust that the seeds you plant in your mind can grow into realities. It takes your faith and trust.

Write down your vision. Write it over and over again. Commit to this vision. Don’t worry about how you’re going to level up or make it happen. That’s not your job. It’s God’s job.

The what, the vision and the imagined desire, that’s for you. See it. Feel it. Imagine it.

Imagine having it. Get into the feeling of having it. That’s what Neville calls “getting into the feeling of the wish fulfilled.” It’s the key to creating what you desire.

You’ve been doing that your whole life. If you felt fear of rejection from others so you rejected yourself, you were rejected by others. We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

If you want to have healthy relationships with others, have that kind of unconditional Love and confidence in yourself. Just as you are.

Love your whole self

Love the You that’s inside of you. The real you. You may need to take some time and go within through prayer, meditation, and journaling. Ask yourself some questions to get to know the real you. Do what you need to. You’re worth it. And so is this process.

**If you want personalized training in how to go within through meditation, journaling, and mindfulness to connect more with God within you, here’s exactly what you’re looking for.

As you get to know the real you, decide who you want to be. Imagine the greatness you want to experience.

You’ve written it down. Commit to it. Focus. Surrender. Do this with gratitude. Gratitude because you trust in the God inside of you and have faith in your divine connection and creative power.

Trust is confidence in all things being good and working in your favor. Faith is unwavering loyalty to the unseen reality.

As you Love yourself, the real You becomes known. You have a voice that’s strong and powerful. You don’t fit into anyone else’s box. And you don’t need anyone’s approval, acceptance, or validation.

You are Love. Love is the seed and the harvest in your life. Love is what you attract into your life.

Let your soul be known, come out, and speak

Dream big. Believe in you and in the Love that lives in you, the God force that creates worlds and universes.

And all this good shall be added unto you.

In summary, here are the biggest takeaways to make the most of this post:

  1. One of the most important questions to ask yourself is “Who am I really?”
  2. The ways people show up in your world reflect what you believe (at a fundamental and subconscious level) about yourself and about others.
  3. Let the real you come out, the you that has been hidden away because the real you doesn’t fit into the boxes that society or culture or popular media promotes as what is acceptable or “cool.”
  4. You may need to take some time and go within through prayer, meditation, journaling and asking yourself some questions to get to know the real you.
  5. Today, let your soul (where the real you is) come out, speak to you, and be known.

*Originally published at dgrantsmith.com.


D Grant Smith is known as the Growth Farmer, which means he has an old-fashioned approach to living a whole & healthy life. Get his free ebook called Love Is The Seed To Success, that gives help in healing relationships and growing healthy ones. His new book Be Solid: How To Go Through Hell & Come Out Whole is about the journey into self-love and self-care after heartbreak and personal loss. He’s an empowerment superhero who would love to give you encouragement so feel free to reach out!

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