Category: Positively Positive

How to Become Your Own Hero and Why You Should


Heroes can play a role in the development of your character from a tender age. We tend to look up to heroes as supreme examples of the greatness that is inherently possible in human beings. Heroes influence and shape the lives of everyone they touch.

Sometimes a hero can be one of your own family members, such as a virtuous parent or sibling.

Other times a hero can be a celebrity, such as a famous sports figure who seems to defy the laws of gravity, or someone who uses fortune to do good in the world. Heroes can even come from fictional stories or movies, such as Superman, or Wonder Woman.

The function of a hero remains the same, regardless of the hero being real or fictional. That function is to provide you with the inspiration to overcome your adversities and achieve what you know is right and good.

Superheroes exemplify great power, strength, courage, and ability. Beautiful heroes exemplify stunning physical beauty and alluring qualities. Genius heroes exemplify startling brilliance, foresight, and mind power.

The specific heroic traits that you admire are a personal choice. Having a hero is a natural and healthy part of conscious life.

Examples of childhood heroes are Batman and Robin, the Six Million Dollar Man, and Superwoman. Examples of adult heroes are James Bond, Michael Jordan, and Laura Croft. Having a hero or several heroes can be a source of inspiration, fun, and excitement.

Heroes can have a positive impact on character development because often people strive to cultivate those traits or virtues that are most desirable in a hero.

The problem with looking to heroes for solutions is that it also supports an upside-down world within a command and control parading that exists both within a patriarchy or matriarchy. Meaning, we give life to the idea that someone has the power to make things better, other than ourselves.

Under the command and control way of doing things, every person on planet Earth lives within the closed boundaries of an upside-down world that enables nefarious behaviors and keeps humanity co-dependent.

We live in a time where people are at odds with each other over beliefs, and standards of living. All sides looking for the hero to introduce change and make us whole. Sadly, this is just the evolution of a command and control paradigm that instills co-dependence to someone on top, instead of interdependence based on equivalency.

The problem isn’t which political party you belong to, which religion you practice, the color of your skin, or your socioeconomic status. The problem is the narrative that continuously tells us we need someone to save us. That’s religion’s narrative, and politics narrative too, both systems support command and control paradigms that no longer serve us as people.

To achieve true equivalence and radical respect, an entire population shift needs to take place from today’s irrational “save me” way of being, to a rational world, where the only hero in the narrative is yourself.

We are already experiencing a worldwide shift from dependence to independence. More and more people are working on a freelance basis and seeking ways to be their own source of income, instead of working for an organization.

No one likes the command and control paradigm, except for those on the top, and I am pretty sure they are not happy either having to constantly be the hero everyone depends on, and in some cases having to play the villain when things get difficult.

“We need to evolve to loving interdependence based on equivalence.”

This will support the need for more human dignity between each other, and set us all free. That’s a path towards mutual radical respect.

Be the Hero

Photo by Pixabay.

Does becoming your own hero sound like a radical idea? Maybe it is, but it is not mystical, and it’s not based on hoping someone else will do what’s necessary to make life better for you.

With a few simple techniques you can esteem your own person as much or more than the superheroes.

To become your own hero, you need accurate self-knowledge. By fully understanding yourself and knowing who you are, you are on an unshakable foundation. Doing an assessment of your character will reveal your positive and negative traits. By negative, I mean those traits you wish to improve or break free from.

In life coaching we use many tools to see what strengths and weaknesses someone seeking to gain new perspectives might have. The goal is to identify what to focus on to achieve your intended growth.

For the sake of simplicity here is an easy way to do a self-assessment:

List your traits on paper and do a side-by-side comparison of both your strengths and weaknesses. You will see your character development up to this point in your life. You can see what traits you need to develop to strengthen your character. After you’ve done that, begin to identify your core competence, and then develop a character development plan of the superhero you want to strive to become.

One way to be able to see into the future you, is to imagine you went to sleep one night, and when you woke up you possessed all the skills, and characteristics of your perfect self. What would those skills and characteristics be? Write them down.

The importance of self-awareness enables you to choose the direction you want to grow toward. You can then predict how your character will evolve in the coming years, as you make attainable commitments to improve yourself.

Self-awareness coupled with a smart plan of accountable action, will allow you to shape yourself in the image of your ideal hero.

You can use your projected character development as your own hero. That hero is the future you. That hero can provide you as much or more inspiration as any other childhood or adult hero.

By projecting yourself as that future hero, you create a situation you control. You decide which traits you want to develop, and you create an image of yourself already possessing such traits.

That image, regardless how far into the future they might be, becomes your source of inspiration. That image becomes your hero. And that hero is you, albeit in the future.

By becoming your own hero, everything you do works toward your own success. You put yourself in firm control of your own personal growth and character development.

As you focus on moving towards becoming your own here, you are no longer an outer-directed person; you become inner-directed, self-aware, and centered on values that matter to you most.

The combination of being in control of your own character development and being inner-directed leads to genuine self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-realization.

You become happy to be alive when you become your own hero, and you work for your own success. This day-to-day happiness is the fuel that will enable you to be free and to lead a fulfilling life.

Can you imagine a world where everyone was working towards becoming their own hero?

Rather than being codependent on one hero, we would have an interdependent world of billions of self-made heroes based on equivalence and radical mutual respect and purpose.

*Originally published at tulliosiragusa.com 


Tullio Siragusa is an expert level Certified Life Coach, a pioneer of disruptive technologies, an emotional intelligence (EQ) thought leader, futurist, speaker, and author. For the past 30 years, Tullio has built world class leadership teams in technology companies and startups. Tullio currently serves as Chief Strategy Officer at Nearsoft, he co-produces and hosts DojoLIVE! a platform that gives voice to emerging technology luminaries. He also hosts Rant & Grow, an entertaining and heart-centered reality podcast where each episode explores people’s personal blockages and how to powerfully move forward with careers, relationships, and self-realization by developing healthy habits. As a founding member of Radical, a social justice movement, Tullio is a strong supporter of human-dignity in all aspects of life, including freedom in the workplace.

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

The Moment That Changed My Life…


I met a woman at a party. She was drinking red wine and just as she was taking another sip I told her a joke.

She laughed so hard she spit all over me.

She was horrified. She shouted, “Oh my god!”

I had red wine all over my white button down shirt. I tried to look nice for the party (impossible for me, but I tried) so I wore a nice shirt. Now I had a red stain all down the shirt.

She kept apologizing and I kept saying it was fine because I kind of liked her.

But she left me and I kept hearing her tell stories all over the party about how she accidentally spit wine all over me.

I eventually left because I was a mess and I couldn’t tell if people were laughing at me or with me.

I told her a joke and she couldn’t control her laugh so she spit all over me.

I changed the rules. There was no polite listening. There was no orderly conversation of “what do you do?” “what’s next?” “do you like your job?”

No small talk. No tiny talk. No nano talk.

Ever since then I knew what I wanted to do with my life.

I wanted to entertain people.


James Altucher is the author of the bestselling book Choose Yourself, editor at The Altucher Report and host of the popular podcast, The James Altucher Show, which takes you beyond business and entrepreneurship by exploring what it means to be human and achieve well-being in a world that is increasingly complicated. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Image courtesy of Kampus Production.

All the Things You Didn’t Do


Once upon a time, you had the chance to be brave. Your name was selected, your number was called. You were the chosen one, at least for this particular moment on planet Earth. All eyes were on you, and the stakes were high.

It was a big moment. So what happened?

Not to put too fine of a point on it, but what happened was … you caved. At the critical moment, you turned your back on the task at hand.

You thought about taking a risk, but it seemed … too risky. You told yourself you’d do it later. Then you pretended you didn’t really want to do it. You lied to yourself, deciding that you’d be content without following your dream.

Slow and steady wins the race, you said. Better safe than sorry. A bird in the hand…

And so you went on to live an ordinary life, not entirely without happiness. You could still experience the highs and lows of this ordinary life. It was not a life devoid of meaning, for no life truly is.

But something was missing, and when you stopped whatever you were doing to look up at the stars, you could sense it. It didn’t bother you often, but it never fully went away either.

That time you could have … was now known as that time you didn’t.

You looked at a map and dreamed of a faraway place. You looked at travel guides and photos on your phone. You picked up random trivia about this place. You reviewed a list of cute cafés and hole-in-the-wall eateries.

You never went.

The thought of speaking to a large group was scary, but you had something important to share. You imagined yourself in front of the audience, nervous yet confident, speaking well on a topic you believed in.

You backed out.

You fell in love, but didn’t show it. You let that person go, or you pushed them away. When you parted ways, you didn’t turn around or call out for them.

A time came for you to show up, speak up, to take a stand. You encountered an injustice—something that was cruel and unfair. The opportunity presented itself for you to speak up, take a stand, or at least do something … and you missed it.

(You told yourself it was okay, because the injustice was too big for you to have any real impact.)

Looking back, you wanted to rewind time and make the other choice. You realized that the real risk wasn’t in taking bold action—it was in passing up the chance to be brave. By playing it safe, you had left everything of value on the table.

Then you woke from your trance, and decided to live differently. Since you weren’t dead yet, you still had time.


Chris Guillebeau is the New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness of Pursuit, The $100 Startup, and other books. During a lifetime of self-employment, he visited every country in the world (193 in total) before his 35th birthday. Every summer in Portland, Oregon he hosts the World Domination Summit, a gathering of creative, remarkable people. His new book, Born for This, will help you find the work you were meant to do. Connect with Chris on Twitter, on his blog, or at your choice of worldwide airline lounge.

Image courtesy of Dương Nhân.

How Much Risk Are You Willing to Take in Your Life?


This may not have been a front-of-mind consideration for you as you went about your daily life before the pandemic, but suddenly that changed when we all had to decide how much risk we could tolerate.

Wear a mask? Don’t wear a mask? See family or friends– or avoid them? Travel? Stay home?

After a year of learning to manage what we are willing to risk and what we are not, there is now new guidance from health officials that forces us again to think about how we react to our fears and what we consider to be hazards.

In truth, we face risks all the time and not just because of a pandemic.

For example, doctors explore risks with their patients, financial advisors discuss risks with clients and each day we make decisions about the risk of crossing the street or making certain food choices. The decisions we make are all a reflection of our own risk tolerance.

Humans crave certainty and security but there is little growth without risk.

A baby who is learning how to walk and falls takes a risk when getting up and taking another step. We know that we can only learn when we risk failure. But at what price? What are the dangers if we fail? How do we learn more from our mistakes?

Our emergence in the months ahead from the pandemic offers an opportunity to reflect on how we can better manage risk in our lives, fortify ourselves for challenges and diminish anxiety and fear. Too often, we get caught up in irrational fears that hold us back from realizing our potential and living life to the fullest. We may miss opportunities because we worry too much about what people think, we are afraid of failing or we may be too nervous to jump in the water and swim.

Our challenge of managing risks is an ancient one.

In the Talmud, the repository of life wisdom, it’s explained that when David writes in Psalms: “The Lord preserves the simple,” it represents a principle of Jewish law that permits people to assume various low-level risks and dangers. Faith and trust are integral to our lives – we cannot control everything. The topic is complex, but it affirms that life at its heart involves risk and is part of being human.

What are some strategies for limiting fear in your life, managing risk, seizing opportunities and forging ahead every day with faith?

Ideas you can incorporate include the following:

  • Pause for reflection: Reverse engineer your day, your week and your life. How do you want today or this week to be remembered? Turn off social media for an hour a day at least to create sacred space. Focus on your goal and you will develop the tenacity and strength to achieve your aspirations.
  • Know that courage counts: Identify moments in your life when you’ve called on your courage to move ahead. Such times will fortify your faith in yourself and help move you forward in moments of uncertainty. You have a track record. Build on it!
  • Buddy up: There is no substitute for finding a friend, coach or mentor who can be your cheerleader and confidant. Who will be the wind beneath your wings? Perhaps it is a spiritual guide who can teach you the tools to find strength and optimism deep inside and help you reach your potential.
  • Fill your mind with hope: Read the Bible, Psalms, and other books that infuse you with strength and perspective. Rather than be mired in the ebb and flow of daily life, find words, podcasts and teachings that will inspire you to grow.
  • Give and grow: Opportunities for impact are everywhere. Volunteer at vaccination centers, a shelter, food bank or anywhere in your neighborhood or community. Say “hello” to every cashier at every store you frequent and make their day. Mystics teach that our positive actions truly lift our souls and inspire us to make the most of every day and create eternal impact in every encounter.

Life will always be filled with some levels of risks but do not let them hold you back from making the most of this very day. In the words of William Faulkner, “You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”


Popular motivator, mentor, and inspirational speaker, Rabbi Daniel Cohen’s unique blend of authenticity, humor, wisdom, and insight helps anyone better navigate contemporary society and lead a life of legacy. Rabbi Cohen has served in the rabbinate for over twenty years and is the author of What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone? Creating a Life of Legacy.

Image courtesy of Liza Summer.

What We Feel, We Heal.


We’re all aware of how many feelings we can have, and how many we’re likely to feel in a day — anxiety, sadness, stress, anger, frustration, happiness, joy, contentment.

Notice how I took a while to list the positive emotions? So many people that I talk to can easily tell me about their negatives, but take a while to talk about their positives. In part, I believe this is because we’re more likely to feel the positives in the moment, and then let them go on their merry way, until we meet them again.

Negative emotions however, are much, much harder to let go of.

They’re kind of always there, lurking under the surface, waiting to strike. Society, and life, has taught us to repress these emotions, to not fully feel them. So they wait, and wait, and wait. We never really let go of them, so they find places to hang out in our bodies until we feel them enough to come to the the surface. We’ll get angry because of traffic, or because nothing is going right at work. We’ll get frustrated cause our coffee order is wrong, or someone looks at us the wrong way. We’ll feel anxious because of the long list of things that all HAVE to be accomplished immediately, but of course, never can be.

These feelings come out for a bit- and then what do we do? We shove them back under to get to the next part of our day- a meeting, picking up your kids from school, needing to make dinner, it just goes on and on. So they stay. They stagnate. They hold you back from feeling free.

Think about it like this. You make dinner one night, and there’s extra food leftover so you’re likely to put it in a Tupperware container of some sort, right? Now, sometimes you eat all the leftovers in the next day or two, the container gets washed, and you’re all good.

How many of you, after weeks and weeks of avoiding the task, get down to the business of clearing our your fridge? How many of you find containers of food that were made a while ago, and are now science experiments? Some of those containers are so full of gross stuff that you just want to throw out the entire container and buy a new one. Who wants to deal with scraping out all that junk, right?

Imagine now, if you will, those emotions I mentioned earlier. Think about those feelings you know you’ve kept locked up tight. Picture shoving that anger, anxiety, disappointment, and whatever else into a container and shutting the lid, tight. You close all that up, and then put it on a back shelf, gone but not entirely forgotten.

Think about the food again. What happens when you close up food in a container for weeks and weeks. It goes bad, right? Now think about all the years of repressed emotions you carry, that you haven’t let go of, that you’ve kept locked up pretty tight. Picture what that might be doing in your body. What might all that be doing to your Heart, your Spirit?

It’s not a pretty picture is it?

So how do you go about healing all of that?

First, you absolutely have to acknowledge it. You have to fully own, and be aware of those feelings that you have allowed to stay locked up. You have to look it in the eye, and be unafraid of what you’ll see.

Then, you have to let it out. You have to express it. Create time in your life to let these feelings out. Find a safe space- alone or with someone you really trust. LET. THEM. GO.

If you need to bawl your eyes out until you feel entirely wrung out, because of intense hurt that you experienced as a child (or an adult), then go bawl your eyes out. Have a plan for how to love and soothe yourself after- like a hot bath, or a long walk.

If you need to express that anger that you could maybe never express before- find a nice pillow, or even purchase a punching bag you can keep in your house. Let that anger out. Smack the pillow into a wall, or your bed, while you yell that anger out. If you get a punching bag- every time you hit that bag, yell what it is you’re feeling. Don’t say it in your head, say it out loud.

Whatever it is that needs to be aired out- find that safe place, give yourself time and permission, and let loose. Be free.

Let go of what is holding you back. I can guarantee you those old emotions are holding you back.

Let. Them. Go.

Your Inner Child, and your current Self will thank you. I promise you.

With Gratitude,

Robin


Robin Lee is a medical intuitive, author, mentor, gratitude advocate, and speaker who has helped thousands of people around the world understand the language of their bodies. Robin believes that our bodies innately know how to balance and heal themselves if given proper care and support. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter, where she shares tips, tools, and techniques to honor our bodies and heal our lives!

Image courtesy of Flora Westbrook.

Why Kindness Trumps Niceness In Relationships

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Returning to Joy


I recently discovered it was time to take a look at what I’ll call, for the moment, the “monster” I’m feeding. The pandemic has been like Godzilla and King Kong combined, trampling through our lives these past 16 months. Scary, not fun, especially because the pandemic was and still is a real monster with huge teeth. It claims lives and continues to do so. Please know that this piece of writing is aimed at those of us here in the United States or elsewhere in the world where life as we know it is beginning to return to some semblance of normality, albeit altered forever.

In this new reality, I’m finding that I have a choice regarding which monster to feed.

I can feed the languishing, depressed part who’s afraid of touching a chair, door handle, or walking into a crowded-basically-anything-at-this-point-in-time place. That monster, or way of thinking, served a purpose for the past year, but now feels less and less useful as I re-enter the world. The other monster of sorts is the return to joy. The truth is it’s super tough to get happy again, or at the very least is taking a lot longer than I’d ever imagined. This returning to joy has been a monster process in my mind.

But why?

There’s definitely a little post-traumatic stress at play. We’ve been hauled up for over a year at this point, and so many of the little things in life that brought us joy and meaning were temporarily suspended. That wasn’t fun, to say the least, and I believe there was a real cost to our psychological state. And we will recover. We will return to celebrating birthdays, weddings and graduations. We will return to days at the beach, park, or wherever people like to hang out with one another, and we’ll return to evenings at the movies, or seeing live theater and going to our favorite concert venue to hear live music. These perks of life, the little things that bring us meaning and happiness, are slowly but surely coming back. And just in the nick of time for my taste.

As I step back out more and more into the world, and as the things I love return, including the people I haven’t been able to see, I find I’ve got this golden opportunity to embrace my joy.

There’s a bit of melancholy present, and I’m choosing, opportune word here, to focus on the happiness, excitement, joy, elation, and even the bit of grief I’m experiencing as I step into my new life. And I’m seeing I have to make a conscious choice about which monster I’m feeding. I’m choosing to feed joy. Okay, so joy might not really be a monster, but choosing it still takes my full attention and requires me to be fully present to attend to it. To focus on it. To allow it to fill my heart space. Again, it’s a process.

This seems like such a little side note to our lives right now, but I actually think choosing joy at this time is essential because what we focus on grows. We’ve been focused on a virus for the past year, so it’s time to begin shifting our gaze to something more positive and uplifting. And I know the coronavirus isn’t going away. I get that piece on the deepest level, but even deeper I now realize I have to put my energy into rebuilding my joy account. It was emptied out over the heaviest parts of the pandemic.

Good news, opportunities are starting to pop up that will re-connect you to your joy.

See the new film “In the Heights” written by Quiara Alegria Hudes and Lin-Manuel Miranda, and directed by Jon M. Chu as my favorite example. This film is brilliant, and a harbinger, I believe, of our societal return to joy. I laughed, cried, danced and sang my heart out, and all while seated in a dark AMC movie theater in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley. I cannot recommend this gem of joy more highly, and in large part because it helped me connect more deeply with the joy of life, the importance of family, and our collective purpose for living. Because, as I see it, we have to, it’s why we’re here. Joy to the world, and joy to you. You deserve some joy today. And if all else fails spread some joy. I find that almost always, the act of giving creates a positive transformation in the giver. By sharing joy there’s a return that occurs which is deep and rich, as well as incredibly uplifting.

Joy is a main ingredient for thriving in our lives, so let’s all aim for a return to joy knowing we’ll land somewhere in the vicinity, and somewhere that’s more aligned with the new lives we’re creating now. It’s okay, and it’s time.


Barry Alden Clark is a writer and professional life coach. His work is focused on helping people live their best lives by acting as a guide for them to connect more deeply with their internal life force where creativity, purpose, and true freedom reside, while using humor, compassion, and kindness as hallmarks for the process of personal evolution. Recently Barry published his first book, “Living Life Now: Ingredients for Thriving In The Modern World,” now available on Amazon, and launched his new podcast “Living Life Now,” available on iTunes, Spotify and Google Music. You can reach Barry at www.barryaldenclark.com.

Image courtesy of Kindel Media.

How to Fail Forward


When you encounter a setback in life, how do you react?

Do you complain about it or succumb to frustration and anger and allow it to derail your progress?

Do you see it as a sign from the universe to quit or use it as an excuse to give up on your goals?

Or do you treat it like the valuable learning opportunity it is?

Today I’d like to teach you how to “fail forward” in life and transform every failure you experience into a powerful launchpad that catapults you even closer to your dreams.

The Truth About Failure

See, this is the thing about failures.

All our lives, we’ve been told that they’re bad and something to avoid or be ashamed of.

The idea of failure has been built up to be so catastrophically terrible that most people choose not to take any risks at all, rather than risk even a small chance of failure.

And that is a huge problem — because if you don’t take risks, you can’t grow as a person.

You see, growth only happens when you leave your comfort zone. It requires you to venture into unknown territory and try something different. That’s how we learn the new skills and knowledge we need to become the kind of person who is capable of taking our lives to the next level.

Growth requires risk. And if you’re so scared of failure that you refuse to take risks, then you’ll always remain right where you are.

Failure Is Essential to Succeeding

This is the difference between highly successful people and those who never achieve their dreams.

Successful people realize that failure is an important part of the learning process. They know that failure is just a way we learn by trial and error. Not only do we need to stop being so afraid of failure but we also need to be willing to fail — even eager to fail.

I call this kind of instructive failure “failing forward.”

Simply get started, make mistakes, listen to the feedback, correct, and keep moving forward toward the goal. Every experience will yield more useful information that you can apply the next time.

That’s why I always encourage my students to view failure as a learning opportunity.

CS Lewis once said, “Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”

They point you in the direction you need to go next if you want to reach your ultimate destination.

So please don’t let fear of failure stop you from taking the risks you need to take to achieve your goals. It’s only by taking risks, making mistakes, and learning from your failures that you will ever reach any real measure of success.

How to Fail Forward

To make it easier for you, here are some tips on how to fail forward by learning from your setbacks and transforming your failures into powerful lessons that actually accelerate your progress toward your goals.

Every time you experience a setback or failure, I want you to ask yourself the following questions…

  • First off, ask yourself, “How did this happen?”
  • What was the outcome you wanted — and what prevented you from achieving that outcome?
  • What unexpected complications arose? In what ways were you unprepared to deal with them? How can you prepare for them next time?
  • What role did YOU play in creating the setback? What skills or knowledge do you need to acquire to make sure it doesn’t happen again?
  • Who can you ask to help you acquire those skills and knowledge? Who can you ask for feedback on how to do better next time? Who can you ask to support you in your efforts? Do you need to add anyone to your team in order to get better results?
  • What went RIGHT during the experience? What did you do right? Which of your efforts produced good results and how can you replicate those efforts or expand on them to get even better results next time?

Once you’ve answered these questions to your satisfaction, your next step is to write down everything you learned from the experience and come up with a plan for what you are going to do to get better results next time.

Above all, remember that failure is not a dead end. It’s merely a detour that may take a bit longer to get you where you want to go but will equip you with the tools and resources you need to reach your destination.

It may feel like a delay, but really it’s a necessary pitstop that will empower you to get much better results in the future.

In fact, the lessons you learn from your failures might actually end up accelerating your progress by empowering you to easily overcome even bigger obstacles that might appear on your path in the future.

Put It to the Test

Zig Ziglar once said, “It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts.”

I love this saying because it shows you how an unexpected stumble can end up bouncing you closer to your goals, faster than you might expect.

So this week, I encourage you to take some time to evaluate a recent failure you might have experienced.

Or maybe you can focus on a setback that happened a long time ago but still makes you feel bad when you think about it.

Ask yourself the questions I just shared with you.

  • What prevented you from achieving the outcome you wanted?
  • What happened that you didn’t expect?
  • What role did your actions or assumptions play in creating the situation?
  • What skills or knowledge would have helped you avoid that situation?
  • If you were in that situation again, what would you choose to do differently?
  • And who could have helped you avoid that failure or recover and learn from it faster?
  • Finally, what will you do differently going forward?

By embracing your failures and learning the valuable lessons they can teach you, you will accelerate your own personal growth and become the capable and successful person you most desire to be.

For additional success strategies and resources, download my Affirmations for Success. This step-by-step guide will help you replace limiting beliefs and learn how to fail forward to success in your life.


As the beloved originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, Jack Canfield fostered the emergence of inspirational anthologies as a genre—and watched it grow to a billion dollar market. As the driving force behind the development and delivery of over 100 million books sold through the Chicken Soup for the Soul® franchise, Jack Canfield is uniquely qualified to talk about success. Jack is America’s #1 Success Coach and wrote the life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be and Jack speaks around the world on this subject. Check out his newest book The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home. Follow Jack at www.jackcanfield.com and sign up for his free resources today!

Image courtesy of Sami Abdullah.

Beginner’s Mind, Imagination, and Expanding What’s Possible


I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “You can’t be what you can’t see.” And I believe that wholeheartedly. It’s the reason representation, and not just diversity and inclusion, but equity and justice are so incredibly important.

But what if what you want doesn’t exist yet? What if the world you want to live in is very different from the world you live in now? How do you bridge that gap when you can’t actually see what it is you want somewhere in the world?

This is where, if we give it power, our imaginations can change everything.

This is the radical potential of storytelling: to craft a future that is so enticing, so beautiful, and so resonant that we can’t help but draw people to us who are willing to help create it.

Sometimes, as a jaded, aging anarchist, I hear about an idea that feels so enormous, that would require such a paradigm shift, that I feel myself dismiss it out of hand. Because, my inner voice asks, “How would that even work? What would that even look like?”

My expert-mind what-about-ism kicks in, and the possibilities seem small, limited. My love of strategy and logistics and taking things step by step wants all the answers before we can move forward.

Let me be clear: while she has the best intentions of protecting me against disappointment, that jaded energy is not what is going to get me (or anyone else) free.

It’s in those moments that I try to soften, to call up the endless possibilities of my beginner’s mind. I use my imagination to remember the goal: collective liberation and recognition of our inextricable interconnection.

In the last year especially, I have been practicing with ideas that seem impossible. I call them things that “aren’t possible yet.” These are the ideas that, on the surface, I agree with. I would love to see them come to life. But I just don’t know how we’re going to collectively get there.

I don’t believe in them wholeheartedly yet, because I can’t see the whole board and how it will all play out. But I’m willing to try these ideas on. I’m willing to play with them, and to let them live in my mind. These are the ideas I’m willing to practice believing. And each time I do, it expands me.

One of my favorite quotations is from Arundhati Roy, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”

Which is to say: we need to be quiet, we need to listen, and we need to remember that the sound of that more just world breathing.

It’s us. We are the ones who are breathing life into this new world, into these radical possibilities.

We are not only possible, we are on our way.


Christy Tending is an activist, educator, and writer. She teaches online courses about sustainable self-care to students all over the world, and hosts the podcast Tending Your Life. She lives on occupied Ohlone territory (Oakland, CA) with her family. You can learn more about her work at www.christytending.com.

Image courtesy of

You Deserve to Be & Feel Supported


We all need support, but most of us struggle to ask for it or receive it when it comes. Needing support is not weak. The weakness is in thinking yourself so strong, self-sufficient or solitary that you ignore your needs, and as a result sacrifice yourself or settle for less than is possible.

YOU DESERVE TO BE AND FEEL SUPPORTED…but are you asking for or receiving the support that you need? And are you open to receiving it?

In the 15 years since I began researching why so many of us are burned out mentally, emotionally and physically, and feeling like no matter what we do, it is never enough, here’s a few thing I uncovered:

We women operate like banks who only give withdrawals — we give and give support but we don’t receive the support we need, in our work and families to keep us healthy and well taken care of, and so we bankrupt ourselves — emotionally, mentally, relationally, spiritually, and physically. It doesn’t take my MBA brain to figure out the way we have been taught to lead and live is an unsustainable equation (and a raw deal.)

But women have operated this way for generations. Not having access to the support we need, we have acclimated by stretching and stressing our resources — life force, time, money –and as a result, end up sick, frustrated, exhausted and overwhelmed, resenting the things we love the most.

While stretching and stress is a part of life, our human bodies were not built to sustain that kind of pressure as a way of life.

The truth is: We all NEED support. But as adults, we’ve forgotten and deny this very basic human need.

Needing support goes way beyond a list of seven steps of self-care or being told to get more rest and green drink.

We need to FEEL supported at our core to have the strength to meet the world, do our part, shine and keep rising, no matter what.

The deeper support conversation I’m inviting us into is essential for our livelihood and our ability to have the strength to play the long game — to be victorious in our missions, causes and work, and be here for those we love.

If we don’t start RECEIVING + FEELING the support we need in our work, our families and relationships, for our health and peace of mind, we aren’t going to make it or be able to accomplish the things we desire to see happen in this world… at least not without sacrificing our own wellness as a result. #femininewisdom

But we can’t wait for the outside world to come by knocking on our door saying, “Ladies, we’d like to support you now. Change the world so you get what you need to be supported while you give and take care of so much.”

We have to start where power and wisdom always starts … within ourselves (as simplistic as it may sound, and as hard as that can be to swallow, especially within systems and a world not built to support women and children, yet.)

Wisdom is often simple in its truth, but the embracing and living of it is profound:

The support we seek from the outside has to start with the support we let in, receive, and are open to on the inside. #wisdombyte

For a long time, we have allowed the systems we work and live in to drain and deplete us because in many ways we didn’t have a choice. Trying to change the systems has been like shifting the course of the Titanic.

We don’t ask for or know how to receive the support we need in powerful ways. We didn’t have role models.

We ate the Wonder Woman Wheaties and bought into the “distorted” model of feminine power that says we should be able to do it on our own, figure it out, be stronger, be more self-sufficient. So we do feel alone and like the world is on our shoulders, a lot.

We get swept into the collective fear and lack, and fall prey to the mindset where all we can see is how we don’t have the time or money to get the support we need — which can be and feel very true. But stuck in that place — without the emotional, financial, relational, time support we need — keeps us looping in the very reality we desire to shift.

Here is where true feminine power and wisdom gives us real super powers we can put to practical use in our day-to-day lives, work, families, relationships and choices:

  • Require that you are supported in your work and your family and your personal wellness. Not as an entitled brat or a self absorbed bitch but as a woman who powerfully serves others and also takes care of herself
  • Know the support you need and ask for it, without apology, or attachment to the form — be open to how it shows up or the person it flows through.
  • Liberate yourself from the storyline of lack — in the moments you feel unsupported or without the resources needed, slow down, invite support in, and find the empowered path.
  • Ask for and receive support even when, especially when, it feels vulnerable. That’s where courage comes in.

Wisdom to guide your choices and perspective the power is in the inquiry.

Here are four wisdom inquiries I invite you to write down, and sit down with your own Inner Wisdom to find the path to the support you need:

  1. Where in my life do I feel supported now? This creates gratitude and proof you are supported.
  2. Where in my life do I feel unsupported or like I don’t have the support I need to do what is being asked of me?
  3. Choose one area you desire more support and ask your Inner Wisdom — What is the support I really need? Be specific and ask your Inner Wisdom not your mind.
  4. What is one courageous action you can take in the next three days to ask for this support? Do it.

This is how we live the feminine wisdom way — we slow down, tap into our wisdom and then respond, in our power and from a place of centered presence, even when it scares us.

To make this even more real, including a guided meditation to tap into your Inner Wisdom about the support you need, join me for this episode of Feminine Power Time: SUPPORTED! Are you receiving the support you need?


Christine Arylo, MBA, is the author of Overwhelmed and Over It. As a transformational leadership advisor, three-time bestselling author, and host of the popular Feminine Power Time podcast, she is recognized worldwide for her work helping women to make shift happen — in the lives they lead, the work they do, and the world they wish to create. Arylo offers trainings, retreats and workshops globally. Visit her online at http://www.christinearylo.com or tune into her podcast www.FemininePowerTime.com. Connect more with Christine and her community at www.femininewisdomcafe.com.

Image courtesy of Monstera.