Month: September 2021

Ways to Develop Wisdom and Apply Emotional Intelligence

Are knowledge and wisdom the same thing? Both words are nouns. One is the application of experience using good judgement (wisdom), and the other is the gathering of experience (knowledge).

knowledge /ˈnäləj/ Noun — facts, information, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject.

Noun — the soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment.

I find it fascinating how many companies put so much stock on hiring people with knowledge, instead of people with the experience of knowing how to apply knowledge with sound judgement.

Wisdom is the practical application of emotional intelligence.

Knowledge and wisdom empower leaders to be beacons of human dignity among all those they influence.

If you want to be a successful leader, you have to be knowledgeable and savvy, but also invest in yourself by undertaking a system of wisdom. Some call this spirituality, others call it self-realization, the bottom line is that if you are not actively attached to a system that is focused on your higher self-realization, you are doing yourself and all those who count on you an injustice.

Whatever system works for you, take advantage of it fully, but be careful that it does not become dogmatic. When the system of wisdom of your choice becomes dogmatic, meaning that you feel compelled to follow it out of fear, or blind conviction — you’ve allowed irrationality to enter your mind, and such causes corrosion of the key ingredient to practical wisdom, self-honesty.

Mastering the skills of leadership requires that one begin with self-honesty. A leader who exercises self-honesty, acquires knowledge, seeks to understand his/her motivations, and is committed to self-mastery.

Having a system of self-realization for yourself, is more important that any educational investment you can make. Becoming a wise leader is about becoming inner self-directed. Someone who is a source of positive attributes that contribute to the betterment of humanity.

Wise leaders acknowledge that they aren’t perfect. No one is, as discussed in my last blog about needing more acceptance in the world.

Being wise is knowing that every day is an opportunity to learn, to explore, and to discover more about your own motivations and desires and observing your behavior with others.

Being wise requires taking stock of your relationships on a daily basis. An effective practice for checking in with yourself is to analyze your day’s activities related to other people.

You can start by asking yourself some basic questions at the end of each day:

Did I snap at anyone today?

  1. See if you can identify what the cause of the lack of patience was. In most cases it had nothing to do with the other person.
  2. Did you experience some kind of pain, or did a wound resurface that made you uncomfortable?

Did I seek opportunities to build relationships up, or did I seek to be right and win for myself?

  1. See if you felt insecure about something you are struggling with that made you defensive.
  2. Did you find yourself needing to be in control, instead of embracing being genuine and vulnerable?

Did I repeat patterns of behaviors that don’t represent who I really want to be?

  1. See if you are being too hard on yourself expecting too much, or worse expecting perfection.
  2. Did you make some improvements you can build on? Can you accept yourself as good enough?

Do I need to forgive anyone, including myself?

  1. This is an opportunity to let go of making someone God over you — forgiveness is about releasing someone’s power over you.
  2. Do you regularly forgive yourself? If not, what’s stopping you from doing so?

Daily self-reflections like this can open you up to gain deeper more meaningful insights into your motivations and develop a stronger connection to your inner self.

Wisdom lives within our consciousness, it’s not about smarts, it’s about self-honesty, and self-awareness.

The Four Stages of Wisdom

There are four stages to developing deeper levels of wisdom, or we could simply refer to it as four stages to growing emotional intelligence.

Stage one is about the awakening of the self. This is usually preceded by a period of discontent. Usually a single and abrupt experience. It is sudden, intense, like surviving an accident, and can also be joyous like the birth of a child.

Something happens that shakes you to the core enough to cause what feels like the beginning of an awakening. You begin to question everything about your life in this stage.

If you look back at your life, chances are you’ve experienced this already. Maybe unaware of it, or blind to the gift it was at the time, till years later when you find yourself reflecting on the blessing in disguise it was.

Stage two is about the purification of the self. This is the moment, or series of moments when we come to the conclusion that “something has to change.” What follows is self-simplification and self-knowledge.

In this stage we get to that self-honest place of “let’s cut the crap and get to the facts of what I need to do” with ourselves. This stage is filled with contemplation, and feelings of not knowing what to do.

This stage can be referred to as the grey area stage of developing wisdom. You need to be a like a magician and practice being open minded and patient, because what will emerge during this stage, in terms of insights and wisdom you can apply to your life in this stage, can literally be life altering.

Stage three is about the illumination of the self. This is that moment we come to grip with and awaken to conscious reality. We accept things as they are, not as we would like to imagine them to be.

This is the moment we stop living in the aspirational truth. True self-honesty is where we being to benefit from the insights and a certainty about life. This is how we become detachment from our chief entanglements. We can begin to reorient life with a new and solid certitude.

This is the stage where we set new standards of conduct and thought for our lives. We do a lot of introspection and turning inward deliberately to discern reality during this stage of wisdom development.

Stage four is when we reach unitive life, or union. This is that moment when we know we have reached a profound change in personality. Sages describe this stage as “The Spiritual Marriage”.

It’s at this stage you become your own authority and master. You are no longer divided but are at-one-with yourself.

This is also the stage when you begin to feel compelled to make a difference in the world. You no longer have a desire to sit it out, instead you actively participate in shaping and co-creating reality.

Developing wisdom is about becoming one with your mind, body, and spirit.

As we become more complete, more unified within ourselves, an amazing gift is bestowed to us. The gift of discernment, the gift of seeing the truth all around us.

In developing wisdom, we become a source of truth and honesty in the world, and a beacon of Light that guides not only our own way, but the way of everyone we come in contact with.

We need more wisdom in the world, so that we may shine more Light and bring about positive change for the betterment of humanity.

*Originally published at

Tullio Siragusa is an expert level Certified Life Coach, a pioneer of disruptive technologies, an emotional intelligence (EQ) thought leader, futurist, speaker, and author. For the past 30 years, Tullio has built world class leadership teams in technology companies and startups. Tullio currently serves as Chief Strategy Officer at Nearsoft, he co-produces and hosts DojoLIVE! a platform that gives voice to emerging technology luminaries. He also hosts Rant & Grow, an entertaining and heart-centered reality podcast where each episode explores people’s personal blockages and how to powerfully move forward with careers, relationships, and self-realization by developing healthy habits. As a founding member of Radical, a social justice movement, Tullio is a strong supporter of human-dignity in all aspects of life, including freedom in the workplace.

Image courtesy of Suzy Hazelwood.

Why can’t I stick to exercise?

Why can’t I stick to exercise?

Have you ever gone on a health kick and fallen off the wagon? Whether it’s a New Year’s Resolution or you’re just “starting next Monday”, so many of us decide to get active, go hard for a few weeks, then give up. Despite knowing that exercise is good for us, only half of us regularly do enough exercise to stay healthy. So why do we struggle?

How much exercise should you be doing?

It’s recommended that you participate in at least 30 minutes of exercise and physical activity on most (five) days of the week. Not only can doing regular exercise and physical activity improve your mental and musculoskeletal health, but it can reduce your risk of developing chronic conditions like cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and osteoporosis. However, 1 in 2 Australian adults are not sufficiently active to see these benefits.

If we know regular exercise is good for us, then why is it so hard to stick with it? There are so many factors that impact our exercise participation, and these will be different for everyone. Here are a few of the main reasons people stop exercising, and how to overcome them:

I have no motivation

This is a really common reason for not exercising regularly. Your motivation will be low when exercise has a low personal value. Ask yourself, what does exercise mean to me? Why am I doing it? Perhaps you want to improve your mental health or reduce your blood pressure. Perhaps you want to be able to run 5km without stopping or be able to keep up with your grandkids. Whatever the reason, it needs to mean something to you! Don’t exercise just because you think you should be doing it.

Once you know why you’re exercising, it’s time to set goals to work towards. You should consider both short- and long-term goals. Use the short-term goals to help you stay on track on your way to achieving your long-term goal.

When setting your goals, make sure they are specific, you have a way to track your progress, and you set a realistic timeline to achieve this. An example short-term goal would be to walk 20 minutes, three times per week, within one month, which you could use to achieve a long-term goal of meeting the guidelines of 30 minutes of exercise, five times per week, within three months. You could track your progress to this goal using an exercise diary.

Once you have set your goals, it’s important to review them regularly. Ensure they still apply to you and keep you motivated to exercise. Be sure to set new goals as you achieve the old ones.

I have no time

When we have a lot going on, including work, family and/or childcare responsibilities, or study, exercise is often the first thing to go to the bottom of the to-do list. But as we know, exercise is important for our health. Try integrating exercise into your other activities of daily life. For example, take the stairs instead of the lift, walk around while you’re on the phone, do strength exercises during TV ad breaks, or walk/cycle all or part of the way to work or shopping.

In terms of structured exercise, if you can’t do a full 30-minute structured exercise session, break it up into two periods of 15 minutes that day. Overall, it’s important to remember that ANY exercise is better than no exercise.

Another exercise option for those of us who are time poor is high-intensity interval training (HIIT). HIIT involves short bursts of high intensity activity, interspersed with periods of low intensity activity or rest. HIIT sessions can be as short as 10 minutes, while still providing similar benefits to 30-minute moderate intensity sessions.

To incorporate HIIT into your program, add periods of fast running into your jog, or add hills or stairs into your walks. Overall, HIIT doesn’t mean you need to exercise to your maximum; you are just trying to increase your breathing to the point that would make it difficult to hold a conversation. If you have any underlying health conditions, you should consult a doctor or an Accredited Exercise Physiologist before attempting HIIT.

I have tried before, and I failed

You may start an exercise program strong and with the best intentions, but before you know it, you lose your way. Don’t be hard on yourself – it’s normal to go through periods where you are exercising less, but this is not a reason to give up.

Start by making a plan:

  1. When will your exercise be done? Schedule exercise into your week as you would appointments, meetings, or catch-ups with family and friends. Pick a time that suits you and your body – if you like to start your day early, schedule exercise in for the morning; if you have more energy later in the day, schedule exercise in the afternoon/evening.
  2. Where will the exercise be done? This may be at your home, a local gym, or outdoors.
  3. How will the exercise be done? Think about how long your sessions will take, and if you need specific equipment, transport, and/or clothing.

Now, make a back-up plan. Brainstorm what might get in the way of you sticking to your exercise plan and come up with potential solutions. For example, if you decide you are going to exercise outside, what other form of exercise could you do on days when it’s raining? If there are days you are not feeling up to exercise, can you reduce the length or intensity of the session (i.e., instead of jogging, can you do a short walk or Yoga)? Or can you reschedule your session for later in the week?

I don’t enjoy exercise

If you don’t enjoy something, why would you continue to do it? There are hundreds of ways for you to be physically active! You don’t need to force yourself to do an activity you don’t enjoy. Exercise does not have to mean going for a run or lift weights in the gym. Exercise could be dancing, skipping rope, swimming, group classes like Pilates, playing sport, hiking, or even yard work (mowing, raking etc). Try a few different activities until you find one you enjoy as you will be more likely to stick with it.

You could also recruit an exercise buddy. Research has shown that exercising with another person can help you to adhere to exercise because it makes exercise more enjoyable and keeps you accountable. Your exercise buddy could be a family member, friend, co-worker, a community group, or a local sports team.

Still struggling?

An Accredited Exercise Physiologist can set you on the right path, whether that be finding the type of exercise that is best for you, setting achievable goals, or keeping you accountable. Find one near you!

Written by Emily Cox. Emily is an Accredited Exercise Physiologist and lecturer at the University of Newcastle.

The Real Key to self Confidence

I didn’t always use to be confident. In fact, I was more on the shy and insecure end of the spectrum. Scared to walk up to the teacher, super nervous and anxious speaking on stage, doubtful about what I could achieve in life, what direction I should choose…

The list goes on.

Now as I reflect back on my life, I realize most of that stuff is gone. I look behind me and it’s like something that I’ve been dragging along all my life just disappeared…without me noticing. How is that even possible?

The more that I am working with clients who are dealing with similar things, the more it dawns on me that there is ONLY one thing that we absolutely need to do in order to become fully confident in ourselves.

(Disclaimer: It’s not something that anyone will be like, woohoo, yes, let’s do it, that sounds exciting. More the opposite, I would say. )

Yes, self-love and self-acceptance are part of it. But this is more like their ugly, locked away in the tower of taboos, twin sister: shame.

Let’s talk about shame, shall we?

So what is it that stops us from standing up tall in whatever situation that life may throw at us? That stops us from Roaring and simply and unabashedly says: This is me! Deal with it!

Well, at the bottom of each one of us lies a well-kept secret. One that many people use their whole life to run away from. It’s the scariest and most painful part for anyone to confront in their lives. It’s the wound of core unworthiness, also known as the wound of separation or simple old shame: I am not good enough.

The secret that not many know (unless they have personally been on a prolonged vacation to their own favorite underworld version slaying monsters) is that WE all carry this wound, to one degree or another.

For every bit that you feel ashamed of inside yourself, there will be at least ONE other (and most likely thousands more) human being that will say: Just like me.

Because this is the magic and genius trick that shame plays so shamelessly on us: shame makes us believe that we are the ONLY one who ARE so rotten as to forfeit any kind of ability for redemption. Hence feeding the illusion of separateness and aloneness.

Shame says: if anyone found out about who I ‘really’ am, they would NEVER EVER love me.

Shame is based on fear

If you look closer at it, you see it so clearly: shame is rooted in fear. The fear is: I am unlovable. Unlovable means far more than just an unmet emotional need. From our biological make-up, it’s a matter of life and death.

If I am unlovable, it means I will not belong, I will be rejected, ostracised, alone in the wild and ultimately I will not survive.

When we look at it from that perspective it rather looks innocent doesn’t it? A simple misunderstanding of things based on our deeply rooted biological need for survival at all costs.

But even innocent misunderstandings can turn into serious consequences unless we have the guts to take responsibility for them.

Shame feeds on judgment

In order to start shifting the sails around and going in the direction of the sun, which is by the way a universal symbol for self-confidence, we need to first understand how shame keeps itself alive.

If fear is the soil in which it’s planted, judgment is the water that keeps feeding it.

When we judge something or someone we energetically separate ourselves from it. We push it away. Now, that actually costs us energy. That exertion of constant pushing against eventually becomes painful.

In order to release the shame, we have to stop pushing against the parts that we judge in ourselves or others and instead embrace them as part of us. But that will come with feeling all the pain that it cost us to keep the illusion of separation alive. Hence, we would rather keep the illusion then let go.

As crazy as it sounds, this is really the way it is.


A person spending all their lives in a small room with closed doors and windows thinking that all of them are locked. That person may imagine all sorts of things behind those locks: they may judge the world out there as unsafe or wrong, they may feel a victim, separate from the outside world, they may believe that their little reality is much better, they may also long for what’s out there but feel scared to go and check…

And imagine that same person was shown that outside the sun was shining, birds were singing, flowers blooming, children playing and there was a whole reality full of love waiting for them…

How would that person feel and what would they choose?
I guess it depends on the individual, but I believe one thing would happen for certain: first they would be shocked.

And from here they would either release all the pent up pain and grief for all their lost years alone in that room not allowing themselves to receive love and feel alive


the prospect of feeling the grief and pain would be so overwhelming and scary that they would shut the door again and start telling themselves the story of how ‘bad’ what they had seen was, justifying themselves at all costs to stay inside.

Shame is the small room that we lock ourselves into and choose to live our lives from.

So what does shame have to do with self-confidence then?

Let’s recapture what we have learned so far about shame:

  • shame is rooted in fear of survival
  • it’s rather innocent (it’s not because of who we are that we experience it)
  • we are not alone in it, in fact: we all are in the same boat
  • shame feeds on judgment
  • in order to release it, we need to feel the pain and grief of pushing parts of ourselves away and eventually forgive ourselves (bringing those parts back home)
  • it may well be the most challenging thing any human does

Understanding those points about shame gives us all the tools to free ourselves from the self-imposed prison we can find ourselves in.

But as simple as it sounds, it’s not easy. It’s warrior material.

All our great stories are based on this psychological wisdom: we need to face our demons in order to become a hero.

Once we have done that, once we have looked at our judgments, tracked our fears and cried our tears, AND exposed our wounds bravely and vulnerably to others, then we truly know who we are. And confidence is just that, knowing behind a shadow of a doubt what we are made out of.

Once we have digested our shame, we can face anyone and anything in the world without blinking an eyelid.

If someone says: you are a coward. Your answer will be: yes, I know, I am that too. If someone says: you are an idiot, your answer will be: yes, I know, I am sometimes also an idiot. If someone says: you are disgusting, your answer will be: Yes, I guess, sometimes I can be disgusting.

It’s like being out in the field with the sun stroking your face next to that little room you have just left and someone trying to convince you, you should go back in because it’s so much better. You will only be able to knowingly smile at them saying, thanks, but no thanks.

Yes, you know that little room exists, and maybe every now and again you will go in and sweep the floor, open the windows and let some air in. But never ever will you get locked in it again forgetting who you are.

Kasia Patzelt works as an Embodiment Coach and is passionate about integrating our spiritual experiences into the here and now of daily life aka how to be truly heart intelligent. She is a writer on Medium and works one-on-one with people online or on the magic island of Ibiza, where she lives.

Image courtesy of Yaroslav Shuraev.

How to Stop Procrastinating: Creativity, Trust, Timing, and Cycles

If you want to know how to stop procrastinating, start by zooming out and having the courage to trust your creative cycles and timing.

There’s a BIG shift we’ve been working on in my company for over a year.

It’s quite possibly the biggest change we’ve made in the last 11.5 years since I launched

We’ve been “meaning to” launch it for a while now. It’s been 95% complete for at least six months.

And yet, it has not yet been born.

(Though it will be on 8/11 so stay tuned!)

If I followed common business and personal growth mindset tropes, I’d have gone down a deep well of self-flagellation for being such a procrastinator.

But I know better.

I know that if I ask the question of how to stop procrastinating as it relates to this particular project, I’m asking the wrong question.

Sure, resistance can show up as procrastination. Sure, I have some trepidation about this shift.

But there’s a difference between procrastination and trusting the timing of creative cycles.

In our company we practice and teach something called the Upward Cycle of Success.

It has four phases that are informed by the four seasons, the four phases of the menstrual cycle, and the four phases of the lunar cycle.

It’s a way to categorize projects that helps you and your team to have abundant harvests without burning out in the process.

Just like in nature, our projects need all four seasons in order to grow, be plentiful, and sustainable.

Here are the phases of the Upward Cycle of Success:

  1. Emergence: ideation, planning, getting things going
  2. Visibility: launching, connecting, making visible moves
  3. Culmination: details, analytics, tweaking, wrapping things up
  4. Fertile Void*: research, reflection, coasting, pause

(*Shout-out to Fritz Perls who coined the term Fertile Void as part of the Gestalt psychology movement.)

The problem with the way we work in our culture is that we skip Culmination and the Fertile Void.

We’re trained to move right from planning and initiating to launching right back to planning and initiating and launching. Over and over and over again.

And we wonder why we’re so tired and burned out. We’ve skipped a full half of the seasons necessary for the growth and sustainability of anything in nature.

The planet would not work without autumn and winter and neither should we.

Some projects take longer in certain phases or seasons than others.

The project we’ve been working on has needed longer Fertile Void and Emergence phases than we had expected.

Having written both of my books right at the end in the final six-eight weeks before they were due, I happen to know that my creative process is one in which there’s a lot of percolation (Fertile Void and Emergence) and then a shorter Visibility phase where things become materially visible.

Having watched a time-lapse of a seed taking its sweet time rooting down before it sprouts up to be seen above the surface, I know I’m in good company.

If I got sucked into beating myself up for procrastinating, being in resistance or not being ready to launch when we originally planned, that would be A LOT of time and energy wasted that I could have been directing into rest and creativity.

Luckily, I did not get sucked into beating myself up.

I decided to trust the timing that this project had, even if it didn’t align with the timing I thought it would have.

I’ve learned from my friend Nisha Moodley that our businesses have souls of their own and, similar to how as parents we are responsible for supporting our children and keeping them safe but not in control of who they will become in the world, we are here to be in co-creation with our businesses.

This big thing we’ve been working on has taken as long as it has taken.

And I trust that, while I may not ever know all the details as to why, that it needed this timeline to become all of what it was meant to be.No matter what creative pursuit you’re working on, remember that creativity has cycles and seasons.

Our human timelines are just as flawed as we are.

When we do more allowing and less beating ourselves up for our supposed “procrastination” we become a lot more abundant with a lot less friction.

Now, I’d love to hear from you:

What are you working on right now that’s taken longer than you expected? What’s your relationship with procrastination? Was what I shared here today supportive of your ability to trust and let go? Leave a comment and let me know!

Kate Northrup is an entrepreneur, bestselling author, and mother who supports ambitious, motivated and successful women to light up the world without burning themselves out in the process. Committed to empowering women entrepreneurs to create their most successful businesses while navigating motherhood, Kate is the founder and CEO of Origin Collective, a monthly membership site where women all over the world gather to achieve more while doing less. Her first book, Money: A Love Story, has been published in 5 languages. Kate’s work has been featured by The Today Show, Yahoo! Finance, Women’s Health, Glamour, and The Huffington Post, and she’s spoken to audiences of thousands with Hay House, Wanderlust, USANA Health Sciences, and more. Kate lives with her husband and business partner, Mike, and their daughter Penelope in Maine. Find out more and receive your free copy of the 5 Simple and effective ways to get the results you want in your business at

Image courtesy of Marcus Aurelius.

Do You Love Who You Are?

The idea of self love has been on my mind a lot lately, about what it means to love all of you. Some of the ideals are easy to accept- eat better, think positive, etc. I’m going to talk about a more abstract concept today of loving your soul. In a lot of ways, this blog will deal with accepting yourself as you are, but it will also talk about things you can do to make your soul shine brighter.

I’m going to start by asking you a not so simple question.

Do you love who you are? 

Think about that for a few minutes if you need to, but I’m guessing a lot of you had an automatic answer. Some of you, hopefully, heard a resounding yes in your mind. If you did- WOOHOO!

If you didn’t, and you had to think, or thought no, the following advice is for you. But first, a few more questions.

  • Are you happy?
  • Is your job something that feels right to you, even if it sometimes stresses you out?
  • Are the major relationships in your life serving you, or hurting you? Are the people that love you, that you love back, challenging you in a good way, or in a bad way?
  • Do have hobbies you love?
  • Can you name three things you love about yourself- things that aren’t about your physical body, but about who you truly are as a person. Do you love that you’re kind, or persistent, or creative? Do you love that you’re bold? Observant? Adventurous?
  • What is it about you, the real you, that you’re proud of?

Take some time to really think about these questions, in fact, write down answers to them in a place you see frequently- notes on your mirror, near your computer, or on your fridge. Too often, we focus on what we don’t like about ourselves- so it’s critical to change that energy into something positive. It’s imperative that you remember what is beautiful about your energy, and your soul.

No one should hate themselves, or spend more energy wishing they were different to make other people happy.

Letting your soul shine and loving your true self means saying to hell with the opinions of others. Do things because you love them, and they make you happy. Life is too precious to waste thinking negative things about yourself.

Loving your soul means adding or discovering things that give you that warm glow inside. Is it creative? Do you love to sing, paint, write? Commit to doing those things. It’s that simple. Don’t worry about it needing to be good, or something other people will praise. Do it because you love to do it, or because you want to try it. We’re not meant to be the same exact person from birth to death. The only way you ever truly fail in life is by not trying at all.

Do you love to discover new cultures, new foods, new languages? Find any way you can to add those into your life. So many of us feel that to do something properly, we need to go big, or what’s the point? We think if we say we want to do something- like learn a new language- that everyone around us that knows this new goal will expect you to be fluent in six months. If you’re serious about something- you do it all the time, right?

Yes and no. When you find something that makes you happy, when you decide to commit to letting your soul shine brighter because you’re committing to living a more authentic life- you do what you can, when you can, and build. Life isn’t climbing a mountain in a straight, gentle, uphill path. You’ll never grow and shine if you don’t push and challenge yourself, but if you only ever push yourself and never allow yourself a break- you end up crashing and not moving at all, not really.

When you stumble on committing to renewing that hobby, or that new thing you want to add to your life- be gentle with yourself.

Whatever way you can end 2021 loving your mind, body, and soul- commit to doing that. Don’t let anything or anyone get in your way, including yourself. Whether it’s baby steps, or giant leaps, you owe it to your beautiful mind, body, and soul to be your best self.

In Gratitude,


Robin Lee is a medical intuitive, author, mentor, gratitude advocate, and speaker who has helped thousands of people around the world understand the language of their bodies. Robin believes that our bodies innately know how to balance and heal themselves if given proper care and support. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter, where she shares tips, tools, and techniques to honor our bodies and heal our lives!