Month: May 2021

Emotional Pillar


Authentic: What It Means to Be “Real” According to Psychology


What does it mean to be authentic and real? Psychologists explore the concepts of “realness” and “fakeness” in an interesting new study. 

How good are you at communicating your true thoughts and feelings?

If a friend acts in an embarrassing way in public, are you willing to call them out on it? If your partner asks you what’s bothering you, are you honest with them? If you meet someone new you like, are you able to reach out and connect?

These are just a few questions that touch on the idea of being authentic and real.

According to psychologists, being “real” is when how you behave on the outside matches how you feel on the inside regardless of personal or social consequences. In contrast, being “fake” is when you hide or conceal aspects of your inner experience.

In a new study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, researchers conducted several experiments to pinpoint the concept of realness. They discovered that “realness” is an aspect of one’s personality that people can often pick-up on.

To measure “realness,” participants were asked how much they agreed with statements such as…

  • “I tell the truth even if it makes others unhappy.”
  • “I express my needs and desires directly.”
  • “I tell people what I want even if they may not want the same thing.”

The more people agreed with those statements, the higher they ranked on the “Realness Scale.”

People are most likely to consider someone else “real” when they act in a way that comes at a personal cost to them – they are willing to put their image and reputation on the line for the sake of honesty.

The researchers of the study note:

    “At the moment, the world is awash in ‘fake news,’ citizens are routinely manipulated by politicians who do not mean what they say, and social media platforms incentivize virtue signaling and punish straightforwardness. Although being ‘yourself’ is often extolled in modern society, it comes with social risks. It is these moments of social risk that provide perhaps the most valid test of whether a person is actually being real: a person who is only real when it pays off is not really real at all.”

If a person only gives compliments at work to their boss, it doesn’t typically come off as “authentic” because they are usually motivated to be nice only to win over that boss and be liked. Perhaps they are aiming toward a bonus or some other external reward.

On the other hand, if a person was to call their boss out for making a mistake or correct them on something even if the boss might get upset at them, then the person is seen as “authentic” because they are taking a real risk by doing the right thing.

(This doesn’t mean you should call out your boss all the time, it’s just an example of how “realness” is often perceived by others).

Keeping it real often means taking a risk. It means sharing your thoughts and feelings in a way that may backfire on you or get you rejected by others, but you share them anyway because you feel it is genuinely the right thing to do.

This aligns with my take that being yourself is often a costly and uncomfortable process – it could mean getting rejected or ostracized by a group.

Life’s not as simple as “be yourself and people will like you,” sometimes it’s “be yourself and people won’t like you.” Humans are diverse people with many different values and interests, so you can’t expect to get along with everyone, especially when you are true to yourself.

As Elbert Hubbard famously said, “Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, and you’ll never be criticized.” This type of self-censoring is a great way to be safe from external judgments, but it’s also the opposite of being real and authentic.

The truth is no one is completely normal. We all have certain traits, interests, or hobbies that aren’t going to match with what’s popular or mainstream. Due to this, being “real” is often going to require embracing those rough edges we all have and recognizing that you’re not always going to fit into society perfectly.

In the study mentioned earlier, researchers found that “realness” was often associated with traits like extraversion, openness, conscientiousness, honesty, dominance, and an internal locus of control (the belief you have power over changing your circumstances in life). “Realness” was also associated with less neuroticism, self-monitoring, and fear of negative evaluation.

Being real sometimes means being disagreeable and going against the crowd; but this type of healthy dissent can serve a positive function in society by helping to break old social norms and facilitate social progress.

The researchers point out:

    “Standing up to or criticizing powerful people and institutions to promote social justice is socially risky, by definition. People who have been made famous for doing so (e.g., Joan of Arc, Sitting Bull, Colin Kaepernick, Thomas Paine, Rosa Parks, William Tell, Henry David Thoreau) strike us as prototypically real – and they have historically experienced both the costs and benefits of this trait. To the degree that being real is an important ingredient for making the world a better place, understanding and promoting realness at the individual level may contribute to a more just society.”

Of course being real doesn’t mean being disagreeable for the sake of being disagreeable – that’s just being a jerk or a “troll.” If you have to be disagreeable in a situation, it should be when defending your genuine values and beliefs – not just to cause conflict or controversy.

The first step toward being a more authentic person is to be honest with yourself about your true thoughts and feelings. Without that self-awareness, it’ll be difficult to decide what battles are worth fighting in life.

Unfortunately, sometimes people use “honesty” as an excuse to be negative and destructive. They yell out insults and criticisms at someone and then reply, “Sorry, I’m just being honest!”

“Realness” isn’t about putting your feelings above everything or expressing yourself willy nilly. Every emotion takes place within a context and you have to recognize the best way to respond in the moment.

So the next most important thing to being “real” is to know how to communicate your feelings in a healthy and constructive way.

This includes watching the words you choose, your body language, and your tone of voice to make sure you’re not being unnecessarily hostile or aggressive, even when you are expressing a deep and serious concern.

It’s important to remember that you can be honest and straightforward with others while at the same time not being negative or toxic. But that all comes down to your social skills and communication skills.

Overall, “realness” can have both its costs and benefits, but it can generally be a positive and constructive thing for building stronger relationships and a more authentic lifestyle.

How often do you keep it real?

Stay updated on new articles and resources in psychology and self improvement from The Emotion Machine:

The post Authentic: What It Means to Be “Real” According to Psychology appeared first on The Emotion Machine.

How to Power up your Ace

How to Power up your Ace

The serve is the most important stroke in tennis and can be the major difference between winning or losing (or racquet breaking). It requires focus, technique and coordination from all body segments to produce power – which is why many of us fail to master it.

We all have seen our favourite names make it look SO easy. The average serving speed in professional tennis sits around 196km/h, but there are many players who can serve upwards to 240km/h+.

Speeds of that force are electric, and it’s no secret why watching the pro’s master it on the court is so appealing.


Anyone who plays tennis envisions acing their opponents (the ultimate power move of tennis). I know you’re thinking we have the answers, but really… strengthening your serve comes down to the basic fundamentals of the motion.

The reality of a tennis serve is that it isn’t easy to master. Like swimming, if you don’t have an idea of the fundamentals of the stroke, the chances are you are unlikely strong in the water. If adding more power to your serve is the goal, revisiting the fundamentals is step one!

As a tennis serve is the most complex stroke of the game, it has to be broken down to understand. Serving like any movement will develop over time once you are repeating the cycle. Luckily, we have put together a few key things to consider if you are looking to add some more power to your ace!

Top tips to power up your ace:

1. Use the ‘continental grip’:

If how you hold your racquet is last on your list of concerns, you’re not alone. But having the correct grip when you serve is essential to its success. The continental grip helps maximise power for your overhead serve. It allows variety, control and motion that increases strength to that ace you so desperately crave. Learn how to use the continental grip by clicking here.

2. Toss the ball in the right place:

If you want to hit an amazing tennis serve, having an accurate toss is very important. It’s recommended by trainers you solely practice your toss until you’re comfortable and can execute it without thinking.

Here are three tips to remember when practicing your toss:
  1. Eye contact – always watch the ball, no matter what! Keep your eye on the ball until contact with the racquet is made.
  2. Hold the ball with your fingertips – avoid your palm touching the tennis ball. Perfecting your toss comes through the fingertips. Hold the ball with a medium squeeze with your five fingers and guide the ball upwards with a controlled motion.
  3. Ball height – You should toss the ball twice your body height so when you extend to hit your serve, you are hitting the ball at the peak of the toss while the ball is in equilibrium.

To learn how to perfect your toss, click here for more instruction and drills.

3. Use more body rotation:

Without upper body rotation, power can only be generated through the arms and shoulders. Ideally, the rotation of your shoulders should be greater than 90 degrees, but less so in the hips. Get used to the increased shoulder rotation by turning slightly (10-20 degrees) more than normal at first. Continue practicing until your shoulders are 110-130 degrees away from the net. This will allow you to begin generating the higher serve speeds you desire. For more information on body alignment, click here.

4. Start slow, finish fast:

A lot of players move to fast at the beginning of their serve, throwing off their rhythm and timing. Slow down the start of your serve before moving into the acceleration phase of the swing. Here are some key points to remember when going through the motions:

  • It begins with a smooth and slow tempo to start
  • Gradually build momentum in the rotation until the acceleration happens at the contact point
  • Accelerate the racquet at the end so the ball explodes off the strings

Serving isn’t easy, but once the fundamentals are mastered, you will be acing your opponent in no time.


Want to take your training to the next level?

An Accredited Exercise Professional can assist you by guiding you through an individualized, safe and evidence-based exercise program to “bulletproof” your workouts. Get in touch with your local exercise expert today by clicking here.

The Nike Run Club gives you the guidance, inspiration and innovation you need to become a better athlete. Join Nike Run Club to reach your goals and have fun along the way. Download to get started. 

read more blogs

We have partnered with Nike Australia Pty Ltd for this article series.

The views expressed in this article, unless otherwise cited, are exclusively those of the author, Exercise & Sports Science Australia (ESSA). ESSA is a professional organisation committed to establishing, promoting and defending the career paths of tertiary trained exercise and sports science practitioners.

Nike had no role in the collection, analysis, or interpretation of data or research or the writing of this article.

Why Do You Feel Nauseous After All-Out Exercise?

Why Do You Feel Nauseous After All-Out Exercise?

Have you ever been to a HIIT class where you reach the end and fall to your knees, wanting to (or worse, needing), to vomit?

Bringing up your lunch is a common occurrence during max intensity efforts, but the reasons behind why such efforts make your stomach turn is still bit of a mystery.

This phenomenon is known as exercise-induced nausea, and you don’t need to panic – because it’s totally normal to experience.


A common misconception is that being nauseous during or after exercise means you’re out of shape – this is far from the truth.

Whether you’re a beginner, Olympian or endurance athlete, exercise-induced nausea can affect you. A studied examined twelve participants and found that exercise causes nausea, the severity of which is related to exercise intensity and food intake, but not sex differences nor physical training.

So, if your fitness level isn’t the cause, what is?


Exercise is designed to push us to the limits. During intense activity, many things can happen in your body that might result in vomiting.

Physiologically speaking, scientists suspect the nausea itself may be a product of lactic acidosis—when your blood becomes more acidic than your body can handle from accumulating levels of lactic acid during exercise. Other types of acidosis are known to cause nausea, and a decrease in blood pH can precipitate vomiting, as a way to regulate the body’s acid-base balance.

Lactate is used to create more energy, but if your muscles produce more lactate than they can handle, it accumulates in your blood. At a certain point, you reach the maximum amount of lactate your body can handle. This is called the lactate threshold.

As lactate levels increase, acidity levels also rise in your body. Your brain senses this as a toxic environment, and as a defense mechanism, it wants to get rid of the toxicity by causing you to vomit.

When this occurs depends on your conditioning and type of activity. If you suddenly do a crazy intense workout that might be beyond your ability, there’s a decent chance you might feel nauseous. Even a short break from training can cause unexpected nausea.


Considered the more prominent factor in whether you’ll experience nausea is what and when you ate ahead of your workout, and because your muscles do a ton of work during exercise.

To anticipate this your body focuses on your muscles, so they have the resources needed to help you perform at your best. In this case, the resource is blood, which carries oxygen and nutrients to your muscles.

To supply your muscles with extra blood, your body shifts blood flow away from your stomach and intestines, which slows down digestion. If you ate a poorly timed meal before starting an activity, the food just sits there causing an upset stomach. At a certain point, your stomach might reject the food and you will feel nauseous, or worse, vomit.

A 2001 study confirmed that eating a meal immediately before a high-intensity workout increases exercise-induced nausea – which isn’t surprising. But it most commonly occurs during full-body workouts.

When you use several muscle groups, more blood pools in your muscles and won’t be available for your stomach and intestines. You might also experience higher levels of nausea from leg workouts, because the muscles are so large.


People may be able to take steps to reduce or prevent nausea when exercising. These include:

  • Eating a diet with adequate fiber to maintain gut health but avoiding foods high in fiber before exercising
  • Avoiding slow-digesting foods, such as protein, fat, and milk products, before exercising to ensure quicker gastric emptying
  • Refraining from consuming foods and drinks high in fructose, particularly high fructose beverages, unless they also contain glucose
  • Staying well-hydrated before and during exercise to avoid dehydration, which can worsen gi symptoms
  • Consuming carbohydrate-rich foods with a higher water content or drinks with a lower carbohydrate concentration

A person can experiment with nutrition plans to determine which foods and drinks suit them best when exercising and how much time they need to leave between eating and exercising.

People may also find that it helps to warm up and cool down properly before and after exercising. Beginning with lower intensity workouts and gradually building up is also a sensible approach.

Want to take your training to the next level?

An Accredited Exercise Professional can assist you by guiding you through an individualized, safe and evidence-based exercise program to “bulletproof” your workouts. Get in touch with your local exercise expert today by clicking here.

The Nike Run Club gives you the guidance, inspiration and innovation you need to become a better athlete. Join Nike Run Club to reach your goals and have fun along the way. Download to get started. 

read more blogs

We have partnered with Nike Australia Pty Ltd for this article series.

The views expressed in this article, unless otherwise cited, are exclusively those of the author, Exercise & Sports Science Australia (ESSA). ESSA is a professional organisation committed to establishing, promoting and defending the career paths of tertiary trained exercise and sports science practitioners.

Nike had no role in the collection, analysis, or interpretation of data or research or the writing of this article.

The Artist’s Voice

Art not only spreads joy, but also inspires us to think deeply about the world around us. This hour, TED speakers explore how dance, poetry, and film can shift beliefs and empower creative expression. Guests include choreographer Camille A. Brown, director Jon M. Chu, and poets Amanda Gorman and Lee Mokobe.

Why Feeling Your Feelings Is Not Enough

So often when we experience a difficult emotion we hear: just feel it.

I mean, I work as an Embodiment Coach, I myself, say it to my clients all the time! And I give myself the very same advice also, because yes, it is true:

Feeling it is healing it.

But, there is a trap that many people miss.

When people speak of feeling it, they mean a very skillful way of feeling. That skill is something that can’t be really learned, at least not through the mind. It is something that emerges in us as a result of our experience and growing maturity.

That skill has much to do with kindness and compassion.

Often when people start getting into the business of healing and opening up and realizing there are emotions and physical sensations inside of them that they were previously not aware of, they get excited about feeling it all!

Ah, now I know what I have to do (says the mind), I just feel it and it goes away! Let’s get to business!

If only it was that easy.

The problem here is that it too often becomes just another strategy for the mind to control the experience and to protect itself from the very feeling it thinks it is feeling.

Being simply aware of the physical sensations and the experience we are having is only the first step of the equation.

The second one is to allow ourselves to be touched by them. And that…. is something we cannot make happen. We can’t force it.

It happens by grace.

It happens by us having run around in circles often enough to start catching on that despite all our effort, the feelings we are struggling with, are still there. And that we are still struggling with them.

Resistance can be very subtle indeed. We may think we are doing it right, but if there is no shift in our experience, then we are still in resistance. (Which by the way there is nothing wrong with either. It’s ok to be in resistance, it just might not be so pleasant, that’s all.)

So what do we do then?

The entry point to go deeper is to be really honest with yourself.

Are you suffering or not? Are you at ease with yourself or not?

(And here, we need to make it even more clear that suffering also means ‘being numb’. If you are not feeling connected to your heart, you are suffering even if you wouldn’t call it that.)

And the second step is to acknowledge all that you have tried already to bring yourself out of suffering.

That includes all your strategies: your meditations, visualizations, your mindfulness, your trying to feel it, your trying to scream it out, your writing and talking about it, or whatever it is that you do to help you shift a difficult state.

When you can just sit with the fact that you have tried hard, you gave your all, brought all your tools online, and it still hurts, then right there, there is an opportunity, a little crack in your minds’ ideas about what should happen and how it should feel like.

That little crack is the dawning of humbleness, which comes from acknowledging our limitations. When we get to the point of understanding that we are indeed oftentimes helpless to our experience, our heart starts softening towards this continuous struggle that we have been in.

Compassion begins to arise as we start feeling the pain that comes from our endless resistance to our direct experience.

(And we all are to some degree in resistance to what is. This is just how the mind works. So no point making yourself wrong for it.)

One cannot trick the process.

If it has happened to you, then you know that it was so different than what you imagined it to be. It cracked you wide open. And you were able to truly feel. Not just think that you are feeling. Actual energy started moving and you felt different.

And as it opened you, something in you shifted, because you surrendered your ideas and with that your struggle.

Something in you softened.

And that’s the third part of feeling yourself on a deeper level: softening.

We cannot push the heart to open.

We can only soften our grip and then soften some more. And when you thought you did so enough, soften even deeper. That’s when you start seeing how much you have actually been holding on. And hopefully understanding, that this process is not done overnight.

It’s a gradual practice. It’s the cultivation of a skill, one that you have most likely not been taught by your family, nor by school or society. Nor are you being encouraged by the majority of people to do so now.

So let yourself off the hook. Celebrate yourself for even trying. And remember one thing:

If your inner work doesn’t bring a gentle smile towards yourself, you are pushing too hard.

So smile a little more at the part that wants to get it all right. It’s an innocent part, it simply doesn’t know any better. All you can do is be kind to it.

Kasia Patzelt works as an Embodiment Coach and is passionate about integrating our spiritual experiences into the here and now of daily life aka how to be truly heart intelligent. She is a writer on Medium and works one-on-one with people online or on the magic island of Ibiza, where she lives.

Image courtesy of Cory Dupree.

Do You Wish to Manifest Success, Love and Happiness?

Manifest Success

Did you know that the thoughts you think most often, shape your reality?

What goes on in your inner world, in your mind, affects your external world.

One thought single thought would not change your reality. Thinking for a minute or two about a situation you wish to create or about a goal you want to achieve will not create anything.

You need to repeat the thought often, so that it gains power, affect your subconscious mind, and trigger the law of attraction into action.

It’s like drawing a line on a piece of paper with a blunt pencil. It would hardly leave a mark. But if you sharpen your pencil and go over line over and again, the pencil will leave a strong mark.

Change Your Thoughts and You will Change Your Life

  • Your thoughts manifest your reality.
  • You can manifest love, happiness, money, a good job, and almost anything you want if you set your mind on them.
  • Your beliefs, expectations, thoughts and feelings, attract certain people and certain circumstances.

This means that if you learn control what goes in your inner world, you would be able to change your external world. This also means that you can manifest the life you want.

Think about it, to a great extent, the conditions and circumstances of your life are the result of your thoughts and beliefs. Change your thoughts and beliefs and you will change your life.

  • ” Are you able to change your thoughts?
  • ” Would you invest time and effort to change the thoughts you think?

Your mind has been set to think certain kind of thoughts, and it often requires to step out of your comfort zone, pay attention to the thoughts you think, and if you don’t like them, teach your mind to think differently.

Reject doubts and fears, abstain from negative thoughts, and from thoughts about failure and difficulties, and start expecting success and happiness.

Suppose you are not in good shape physically. You start exercising at a gym. It’s tough and difficult and your muscles ache. Yet, you continue to visit the gym.

If you persevere, gradually, you will get stronger and shape your body. It’s the same when trying to change your thoughts, think about you really want, and believe you can get it.

Start Making Your Dreams Come True!

Visualize and AchieveMake creative visualization and the law of attraction work for you!
• Learn to use your imagination and thoughts to change your life.
• Upgrade your life and achieve your goals.
• Attract money and prosperity into your life.

I Want More Info

Manifesting and the Law of Attraction

How to manifest what you want?

  1. Decide about what you want to manifest.
  2. Build a mental scene of what you want.
  3. Believe that you will get it.
  4. Repeat this mental scene several time a day.

This is the concise version of what you need do. Is this enough? Not really, you might get results with these concise instructions, especially if it is a simple and easy to attain goal.

However, for greater goals you need a little more understanding of the law of attraction and of manifesting.

Can You Manifest Anything You Want?

You can manifest success, love health and whatever you really and truly want.

I am not talking about wishing. Wishing is not enough to attract anything. To create something, you need a strong desire.

To manifest great success, you need great passion and ambition, and the willingness to do whatever it takes to accomplish this success.

Does it mean that you can manifest a million dollars a Ferrari or a yacht? The answer is yes and no, but this has nothing to do with the validity of the law of attraction. It has to do with you, with your desires, ambitions and priorities.

You might daydream about a million dollars or a Ferrari, but would you do anything meaningful to get them?

How many people want to own a chain store, become a president or a prime minister, a famous actor or a famous writer? Most people settle for much less.

We hear so much about achieving goals. Yes, that’s great to achieve goals, but most people’s goals are not something very big and difficult to attain. You may have only small goals, and that really okay.

It is not the size of the goal that determines how happy and satisfied you are.

  • A goal can be to buy a house or car, or to become big company CEO or a president. It could be getting tickets to a show, reserving a table in a restaurant, or getting a good job.
  • As goal can be small and it can be big a big.
  • Some seek big goals, and others are satisfied with small goals.

Visualization and the law of attraction, together with the powers of the are a powerful force. Together, that can create great changes in your life and attract to you the things you want.

A lot has been written on visualization and the law of attraction, and a lot of people have tried them, some successfully, some attain partial success, and some did not get results at all.

Does this prove that the law of attraction does not work, or maybe you did not follow the guidance?

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Repeating the same thought day after day programs the subconscious mind to act according to this thought and to bring it into manifestation.

Thoughts and mental images lead to action, and action leads to results, fulfillment and achievement.

However, your thought should be focused, your belief stable, and your desire must be strong. This will energize your thoughts and turn them into reality.

This article is just a concise and general guide. It is an introduction to the power of the law of attraction and to the power of manifestation.

You can read more articles on manifestation, here, at this website.

Affirmations for Manifesting Your Dreams

Affirmations are part of the power of manifesting. To be effective, you need to focus on the words you are repeating, believe them, and allow no doubts in your mind. You need to feel that what you are repeating is true.

Of course, doubts and disbelief would rise and you might stop repeating the affirmations. This is natural and happens often. These are the people who stay positive and persevere who succeed.

Here are a few affirmations you might find useful:

  1. Everything I desire is coming true.
  2. My thoughts are manifesting the reality I want.
  3. I am manifesting love in my life.
  4. my good dreams are turning into a wonderful reality.
  5. I am open to receive financial abundance.
  6. I am attracting great love into my life.

Manifesting Quotes

Reading quotes about manifesting inspire and motivate, and teach about manifesting. Read each quotes several times every day, try to understand what it means, and how you can apply its meaning in your life.

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”
– Walt Disney

“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.”
– David McKay

“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.”
Maya Angelou

“A person is only limited by the thoughts that he chooses.”
– James Allen

“Thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand.”
– Bob Proctor

Start Making Your Dreams Come True!

Visualize and AchieveMake creative visualization and the law of attraction work for you!
• Learn to use your imagination and thoughts to change your life.
• Upgrade your life and achieve your goals.
• Attract money and prosperity into your life.

I Want More Info