Month: May 2021

Negative Emotions: Create A Plan to Respond to Them in a New Way

have a plan


The current way you respond to your negative emotions doesn’t have to be the only way. Create a plan and choose a new way to respond to your negative emotions before they happen.


It’s difficult to manage negativity when you are in the heat of the moment.

You get angry at something someone says, so you snap back and yell. It comes so naturally and impulsively that you barely had time to even think about it.

Of course, you reflect on it later and feel bad about your emotional outburst. Then you tell yourself, “I really need to stop getting so angry over the little things.”

But is that enough to change? Usually not.

While being aware that your outbursts are irrational and destructive is an important first step, it’s often not enough to change your patterns and behaviors.

We often continue following these same emotional patterns unless we start planning a new response to them.

If you create a plan to respond to your emotions in a new way before they happen, then you’ll be more ready and prepared to change your responses when those emotions arise in the moment.

Here’s how to create a plan to manage your negative emotions.


Create a Plan for Negative Emotions

Find a paper and pen or create a document on your computer so you can write out your plan (writing it out will make it more real and tangible).

  • First identify one negative emotion that you want to change your response to (anger, sadness, anxiety, procrastination, etc.)

  • Now write out your typical response when you feel that emotion (for example, anger = “I yell or snap back at someone,” sadness = “I stay home and watch TV,” procrastination = “I forget about my work and play a video game”).

  • Now brainstorm one alternative response to that emotion and write it down (for example, anger = “I will practice being silent and polite,” sadness = “I will do something creative, such as drawing or journaling,” or procrastination = “I will set a timer for just 5 minutes and get the ball rolling.”)

  • Keep in mind there are multiple ways to respond to ANY emotion – your current pattern doesn’t have to be set in stone. You have a choice.
  • Consider the opposite action technique for devising your alternative response. Sometimes the best way to change the flow of your emotions is to do the exact opposite of what that emotion is telling you to do. When you’re feeling sad and just want to stay inside all day is sometimes the best time to get out of the house, go outside, or reach out to a friend or family member.
  • Pay attention to the early signs when an emotion is beginning to brew inside you. For example, when you’re angry you may notice yourself clenching your jaw, or your body temperature rises, or heart rate speeds up. The quicker you can catch a negative emotion while it’s happening, the easier it will be to choose a new response. The longer you wait for the emotion to build up, the more difficult it will be to reverse it.
  • Practice mental rehearsal with your new plan. Close your eyes and imagine yourself feeling that old and familiar negative emotion but then choosing your new planned way to respond to it. Repeat several times for extra preparation.
  • Get ready to apply this new behavior in the real world; but be patient with yourself too, it will likely take a few trials and errors before it becomes a more natural response for you.

Make sure you put in the time and effort to create your new plan and practice it in your head.

The most important thing is to put in the work before that negative emotion arises again, so that when it does you’re prepared for your new course of action.

If you wait until the emotion happens in the moment to try to change your behavior, you’ll most likely fail unless you have really strong willpower or discipline (hint: most people don’t).

Our emotional patterns often follow a predictable habit loop like all other behaviors, but we can adjust them if we are aware of the “cue → routine → reward.” By learning your emotional cues and changing your routine, you can change your actions and results in life.

Ultimately, you should be able to express your new plan with a simple “If, Then” statement…

  • IF I start feeling angry, THEN I will go for a walk.
  • IF I start feeling sadness, THEN I will reach out to someone to talk to.
  • IF I start feeling anxiety, THEN I will write or play guitar.

Of course you have to come up with a plan that works for you. These are just ideas and suggestions, but you may need to experiment with new responses before you find one that most helps you.

For now just choose one emotional pattern you want to change and create a plan – don’t try to completely change yourself overnight. Once you begin to make progress with one negative emotion, you can begin to focus on changing your responses to others as well.

One small change at a time and you can completely transform your emotional well-being.


Stay updated on new articles and resources in psychology and self improvement from The Emotion Machine:


The post Negative Emotions: Create A Plan to Respond to Them in a New Way appeared first on The Emotion Machine.

Post Pandemic Rebirth


As we begin our passage to a post-pandemic world, could we all be in a process of rebirthing ourselves, like caterpillars going through a metamorphosis that transforms us into our butterfly selves? I actually think we might. That’s my sense of things lately. I find myself and other people I know and work with starting to come out of a difficult and even dark place. There’s a budding in process, not unlike the spring we’re all experiencing right now.

The weather, time and tone feels like we’re unfolding ourselves into the next version of who we are, and all within the context of this new post-pandemic world. And a lot has changed, something we’re all also grappling with in terms of meaning and what to do with this new information. I’ve found myself feeling fatigued and even sleeping more than usual. But I realize I have to roll with this experience because, as the world begins returning to a faster pace, I personally have to adjust to this new energy. It’s the reverse of what happened when the pandemic first hit. Remember that time? We had to slow down, stop seeing family and friends, stop going to work, out to restaurants, theater, sporting events, and we stopped traveling.

That process of adjustment took time, and this one of re-entry into our new realities is no different. It’s going to take time, and I already see I have to be gentle with myself as I adjust. And that’s not easy for a pusher like me. Yeah, I can admit that as not pretty as it is.

So what’s changed? Is life and the world we’re living in really all that different than it was one year ago?

Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. The world is different. We’re different. And I believe we’re just now starting to get a sense of our new world, and who that new person is we’re seeing in the mirror when we wake up each morning.

I’m still brushing my teeth and flossing every morning. Okay, sometimes I miss the flossing part, but I’m working on it. And please don’t tell my dentist, he’ll have my head. There’s also the vanilla yogurt with fresh raspberries , blueberries, and a dash of my new life. Wait, how did new life get into my yogurt?!  I thought I ordered granola.

Ready or not, we’re all stepping into a new world, and it’s a place we’ve never been before. We’re actually people we’ve never been before. So, take a moment and really think about this. Who are you now? How have you changed? How has the world changed? And how do you want to show up in this new configuration of planet earth? And maybe even more or most important, how can you show up each day in a way that honors and cares for you and who you are now?

I don’t think there’s anything original about what I’m writing here, but rather I’m hoping in my asking questions, not only do I, but those of you reading this get to begin exploring and maybe even defining this newest version of you.

And isn’t it time for a new adventure? Haven’t you been trapped in your house for long enough? I’m getting on a flight this week to go see a dear friend of mine who I haven’t seen in over a year. It’s probably the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other for the past thirty years. Of course, that’s been the norm this past year. What’s not normal is the two of us. She’s different and so am I. My friend said she’s been thinking over some big changes and wants to share them with me. I have a few things to share as well about where I’m heading. Clearly change is afoot, and we’re going to have a lot to talk about.

How many of us will say the same thing to loved ones who we haven’t seen in a very long time? I’ve changed, you’ve changed, we’ve all changed, like a lot. And now we’re going to go about the process of rolling out what this change actually means and to the process of bringing it into our physical world realities.

As I said earlier, go easy. Be kind to yourself. Pace yourself. Give yourself time and space to unfold your new self, your new life, and your new way of being and interacting in the world. And remember, we’re all going to do this differently. Respect each other. Give yourself and those around you the dignity of their own process. It’s going to take some time to adjust, to break in these new shoes so to speak, and the process might hurt for a bit, but ultimately, it’s going to look and feel authentic for who we are now, in this new time and in this new place. Welcome here. We made it. Take a deep breath, acknowledge yourself, and know the universe has something beautiful in store for you. Just look to nature and what’s blooming around you. There’s a divine beauty and grace at play. Enjoy it all!


Barry Alden Clark is a writer and professional life coach. His work is focused on helping people live their best lives by acting as a guide for them to connect more deeply with their internal life force where creativity, purpose, and true freedom reside, while using humor, compassion, and kindness as hallmarks for the process of personal evolution. Recently Barry published his first book, “Living Life Now: Ingredients for Thriving In The Modern World,” now available on Amazon, and launched his new podcast “Living Life Now,” available on iTunes, Spotify and Google Music. You can reach Barry at www.barryaldenclark.com.

Image courtesy of Monstera.

Why Gratitude Affirmations Are More Important Than Ever


What are you thankful for? Have you used gratitude affirmations lately?

In a year like the one we’ve just had, these might be hard questions to answer.

But here’s the thing: When you’re going through challenging or uncertain times, that’s when practicing gratitude matters more than ever!

Gratitude allows you to completely transform your mindset and experience in an instant — no matter what is happening in your life or in the world around you.

So today I’d like to share some gratitude affirmations that will help you change your perspective and stay focused on the positive, so you can attract more of what you want into your life and less of what you don’t. 

What Is Gratitude, Really?

All right, now let’s take a moment to talk about what practicing gratitude actually looks like — and why it has such a powerful impact on your life.

Gratitude isn’t simply thanking whatever deity or divine force you believe in for everything that’s good in your life.

It’s about feeling a profound sense of thankfulness deep in your heart and realizing how incredibly fortunate you are to be alive, living the life that you have.

When you are able to feel this level of awe-filled appreciation in your heart and soul, something incredible happens.

A powerful sense of positivity bubbles up inside you, lifting your mood and spirits.

It awakens a sense of joy or even bliss that raises your energetic frequency and allows you to put more positive vibes out into the world.

These powerful vibes resonate with other people and things that are vibrating at the same high frequency as you are, allowing you to attract more high-vibe people and opportunities into your life.

Suddenly all of the difficult things in your life lose their power over you. They’re still there, but they’re no longer overwhelming or anxiety-inducing.

They’re just something to be dealt with. Something you know you CAN deal with and successfully overcome.

And all of this can happen in an instant!

How to Practice Gratitude

That’s the power of gratitude for you.

But wait a minute Jack, you might be thinking. How can I feel that kind of gratitude when there are so many terrible things happening in my life? 

I just lost my job. My partner and I just broke up. I have bills coming due that I can’t pay and my kids aren’t talking to me! What do I have to be grateful for?

No matter how terrible your life may seem, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.

This isn’t just a self-help cliché … it is a very real and powerful truth.

Consider your life as it is right now.

You’re watching this video on some sort of electronic device. Your computer or a smartphone.

That’s something to be grateful for!

It’s incredible that we such powerful technology at our disposal.

Imagine traveling back in time 50 years and telling people in the 1960s that we would one day have hand-held computing devices that were more powerful than the building-sized ones they used in NASA back then!

We humans are incredibly skilled at making our most ambitious dreams a reality.

That’s something else to be grateful for!

Now consider where you are. Are you sitting in your own house or apartment? Do you have a roof over your head?

Do you share your home with people or pets that you love?

These are all incredible things to be grateful for!

Or maybe you’re sitting on a bus or a train. If so, aren’t you lucky that your town or city has a public transit system?

Again, that’s something to be grateful for!

Or how about the clothes you’re wearing. Are they keeping you warm and comfortable?

That’s something to be grateful for!

Someone worked hard to make those clothes you’re wearing right now. Which is something else you can be grateful for!

Now think about your body. Is it relatively healthy and pain-free? Does it have the strength and energy to take you where you need to go and complete the tasks you need to complete?

That is something to be HUGELY thankful for!

How about the community in which you live, or the natural environment around you?

Or the shoes that you own, the car that you drive, the food in your fridge, or the people in your life who love you and bring joy into your world?

Or the people who write the books and create the TV shows and movies and video games that keep you entertained?

Or the musicians who write songs that bring tears to your eyes because they’re so beautiful?

Or the hot water that allows you to take cleansing showers and relaxing baths, or the healthy drinking water and fresh and delicious food you have access to?

These are all incredible things to feel grateful for!

The fact is, no matter how many so-called “bad things” are happening in your life, there are countless things you have to be grateful for.

And when you focus on them and cultivate a deep appreciation for everything that’s good in your life, you will liberate yourself from negativity and feel much greater joy and contentment on a day-to-day basis.

And that joy and contentment will give you the faith and motivation you need to solve whatever problems are currently troubling you so you can get back to living your best life!

Your Morning Gratitude Affirmations

So now I’d like to teach you some gratitude affirmations that you can make part of your daily routine to help you cultivate a deep and lasting appreciation for everything that is good in your life.

Every morning, as soon as you wake up, and every evening, before you go to bed, I encourage you to repeat the following to yourself:

  • I am grateful for this moment. 
  • I am grateful for my dreams, and for knowing that I can achieve anything I set my heart to. 
  • I am grateful for my challenges because I know they are helping me become the person I’m meant to be. 
  • I’m grateful for all of the people in my life who help me understand who I want to be in the world, as well as who I aspire not to be. 
  • I am grateful to be alive and experiencing my life exactly as it is, with all of its ups and downs.
  • I am grateful for person I am becoming, and the incredible future I am creating. 

Gratitude Affirmations for Success

If you repeat these gratitude affirmations to yourself at least once or twice a day, I guarantee you will find it much easier to maintain a positive attitude and stay motivated toward your goals.

You might also want to take the time every morning or evening to write down ten things you are grateful for that day, so you are better able to remember everything good that happen in your life.

For additional gratitude affirmations practices and resources, download my free Affirmations for Success Guide. You’ll discover guidelines for creating effective gratitude affirmations and easy-to-use templates for creating your own.

Remember, what you focus on grows.

So the more you focus on everything good that happens in your life, the better your life will be!


As the beloved originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, Jack Canfield fostered the emergence of inspirational anthologies as a genre—and watched it grow to a billion dollar market. As the driving force behind the development and delivery of over 100 million books sold through the Chicken Soup for the Soul® franchise, Jack Canfield is uniquely qualified to talk about success. Jack is America’s #1 Success Coach and wrote the life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be and Jack speaks around the world on this subject. Check out his newest book The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home. Follow Jack at www.jackcanfield.com and sign up for his free resources today!

Image courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio.

How to Use the 55×5 Manifestation Method to Manifest Your Dream Life

55x5 Manifestation Method

If you are into the Law of Attraction, then you might have heard about the “55×5 Manifestation Method”. But what exactly does it mean and how to use it?

Well, in this article we will cover everything there is to know about the famous 55×5 Manifesting Method and how we can apply it to our lives.

Before we move on, the Law of Attraction is a very wide concept and not everything might work for you.

For some people, affirmations tend to work better while for others Subliminals might do the trick.

It all depends on what suits you the best and how long you can perform the exercise without falling out of your comfort zone.

Also, if you are struggling with the Law of Attraction, you can consider taking the help of a Law of Attraction program.

What Is The 55×5 Manifestation Method?

In the 55×5 Manifesting Formula, you decide on a goal or your dream and write it down 55 times for 5 days consecutively.

We all know that journaling is an excellent Law of Attraction exercise and is known to have done wonders.

This method also works on the same principles, but is more focused to achieve the goal faster. Read more about how to make a manifestation journal.

The 55×5 ritual works by affecting your subconscious mind and re-programs it for your goals. Once you are done with the ritual, you will start to notice a change in your mindset as well.

What Is The Significance Of The Number 5?

The reason number 5 is used In this manifestation method is that it is highly connected to the Law of Attraction in many ways.

Every human body has 4 limbs and a head (4+1=5), 5 fingers, and toes, can you see a connection? Also in numerology, the number 5 signifies some major life changes.

How To Perform The 55×5 Manifestation Method

There Is not much required to perform this ritual. All you need is a pen, paper, and a goal in your mind.

Below are a few steps which will help you get started with this amazing manifestation method, to help you manifest your dream car, house, money, or for that matter, anything you wish to achieve in your life

Getting Prepared

The very first step is to decide your goal or dream. The dream needs to be short and specific but not too vague as well. For eg. If you are manifesting a car, you can write something like ” I love my Black BMW X5″.

See how I wrote a specific goal without going into the details, such as the horsepower or features. This is exactly how your goal needs to be.

You can find many such affirmations online, but it is advised to create your own affirmations, as they give you a sense of personal touch. You can always look up online for ideas though.

Start Writing

Once you are done with deciding your affirmations, you have to start writing down the affirmations 55 times daily for five days.

Performing this exercise every day for 5 days is very crucial to manifesting your goals.

Make sure you keep the affirmation the same for all 5 days and don’t try to change any words to make it easier for you.

Changing and chopping will lead to sending unclear signs to the Universe, which might harm your manifestation.

Letting It Go

This is an important step in the manifestation process. Once you are done with everything, it is really important to let go of your desires. Simply holding onto them will only create self-doubts in your mind.

Thinking about your desires all the time will make you insecure, whether your dreams will get true or not. So it is always advised to just forget about the desires or your goals and get on with your life.

Doubts attract negative energies and send mixed signals to the universe, which is obviously not the best thing for your manifestation process.

How Long Does It Take To See My Dreams Come True?

There is no specific answer to this. You might see your dream come true in a matter of hours or days, but also it could take a few months as well. It all depends on your goal and the dedication you put into the process.

Don’t expect your goals to just become true without doing anything. Keep grinding for your goals and look for the signs from the Universe.

If you are trying to manifest money, it wont always appear in the form of a random cheque. It could come in the form of a new project or a promotion in your job that will put some extra money in your pocket.

Manifestations work differently for everybody, so don’t expect the same results.

Conclusion

All in all, the 55×5 manifestation method is a really good way to attract your dreams provided you do everything as is asked of you.


Make sure your affirmations are short and to the point( specific).

When you are performing the exercise, try to get in a pleasant mood and avoid doing the exercise if you are angry or are having rational thoughts. It will only harm your manifestation.

Also, try to visualize a future in which you have achieved your dreams.

Visualization helps in raising your vibrations and aligns them with your goals.

I hope you try out the 55×5 manifestation method and that it helps you achieve all your dreams.

Good luck.

About the Author
I am Patrick Wood, a Professional Manifestation and Law of Attraction Coach. I have been in this field for the last 10 years and helped turn around the lives of many people.

I work with clients globally, and my expertise covers all areas of manifesting, including limitless money, business success, abundance and happiness.

I Welcome you all to Manifest an Abundant life for you and your loved ones!

Start Making Your Dreams Come True!

Visualize and AchieveMake creative visualization and the law of attraction work for you!
• Learn to use your imagination and thoughts to change your life.
• Upgrade your life and achieve your goals.
• Attract money and prosperity into your life.

I Want More Info

And Then This Is How I Changed My Life This Weekend


I wanted to do something I had never done before.

I wanted to do something creative.

I wanted to plant a seed that could turn into something both artistic and lucrative.

With a friend, we outlined a story based on mutual interests of ours and some of my life experiences.

And then I wrote a screenplay from beginning to end in one weekend.

I love exploring new subcultures.

I’ve been involved in many slices of life over the past thirty years. For me, a new subculture is both an escape and a passion.

When you combine escapes with passions, money is a side effect. And love is a side effect.

I took two high-stakes subcultures: the hedge fund business, which I was involved in for about 15 years.

And the standup comedy world, which I first tasted twenty years ago but have been more active in in the past 1-2 years and probably obsessively in the past year. (I performed Saturday and Tuesday).

[Much more on this in a future article].

Also in the past few years several “high stakes” things have happened to me. Shaken me to the core. SHAKEN!

Forcing me always to apply my own advice to myself rather than to just stupidly just give it. To experience my own believes again and again.

Divorce. Money. And throwing out everything I own plus spending years moving from AirBnB to Airbnb.

Why did I move from Airbnb to Airbnb? I don’t really know. I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of owning anything. I wanted to have everything taken care of.

I wanted to be a voyeur on everyone’s life. I wanted to explore new places and neighborhoods as much as possible.

But because I did this for years, 100s of stories (both bad and good) have happened to me. From the horrific to the amazing coincidence, to just simply the amazing.

[More, more, and more on this in future articles].

It reminds me of Rutger Hauer’s monologue in his death scene in the first Bladerunner:

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. … I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.”

And yes, I’m comparing myself to Rutger Hauer and Bladerunner. I give myself permission.

A friend of mine gave me advice recently. “It’s time to stop with the Airbnbs,” she said, “It’s creepy”.

We’re having lunch today. She’s saved my life before. So lunch is on me! Big spender!

So I wrote all of the above down in two equations:

Two high stakes subcultures:

hedge fund word + comedy world == X

Two high stakes life situations:

divorce + extreme minimalism == X

Math problem: solve for X!

It turns out X is a story.

So with a friend we outlined every scene in a story from beginning to end. That was Saturday.

In every scene we jotted down the situation, the characters, the location, and ideas on dialog.

We kept writing dialog down until we laughed.

Then Sunday we each wrote a script from beginning to end and then merged them scene by scene.

In two days we went from laughing and brainstorming random ideas to coming up with all the scenes to finished (first draft) screenplay.

I had never read a book about screenwriting before. I had never written one before. I’ve read 100s of screenplays when I worked at HBO.

And I advise on a TV show [more on that in an article in April].

But I never wait for permission to do anything. Ready. Fire. Aim.

We had a few rules when mapping out the scenes.

– The first few scenes had to introduce every character, location, and problem / tension.

– Each scene had to be funny. Could be dark. But also funny.

– Each scene had to move main character (and potentially minor characters) forward.

– ZERO CLICHES

And we wanted most of the scenes to take places in locations where I would want to spend my time.

Seinfeld gave this weird piece of advice on Norm McDonald’s podcast: “Make a TV show where people want to hang out in the locations”.

I have never heard that before.

If I could make myself laugh in each scene, then chances are someone else would as well.

We used a site called celtx to merge the scripts as we both worked on them on our own on Sunday.

We mapped out how the entire season 1 of the story could work, with one line each to describe each basic story. We mapped out a season 2 as well.

We figured out all the ways we could market the show, mostly using my own social media.

We also figured out how we could shoot it ourselves if nobody else liked it, which is always possible. This “evil plan” is what I always call my Choose Yourself strategy.

Without a Choose Yourself strategy in every life situation, you give too much power to others in a worst-case scenario.

Whenever I don’t give myself a “Choose Yourself” strategy I end up being unhappy. End up being sad.

Then I gave the script to several people to see all the parts where they laughed out loud. Then Monday I sharpened up dialogue. I’ll do that every day until it’s ready. No rush.

Someone told me the Farrely Brothers were once given this advice: don’t say you are “trying” to do a movie. Say you are “doing” a movie.

I’m doing a scripted TV sitcom.

Will it get done? I don’t care.

I was able to exercise my idea muscle by coming up with ideas for each scene. Ideas for each character. Ideas for each piece of dialog.

This is the Mental part of the Daily Practice I often write aboutThe “10 ideas a day” every day .

For me: when I exercise the idea muscle, it only gets stronger.

Will it get done? For 20 years I’ve built up a 1000 connections in this business.

Connections aren’t email addresses. Facebook friends aren’t Siamese twins.

Connections are people I would do any favor for who, I assume, would do any favor for me.

And I was able to do this with a friend. We had so much fun it was a pleasure.

This is the Emotional part of the Daily Practice I often write about.

Will it get done? I have personal experience in everything I wrote about plus the marketing skills to make something happen.

Will it get done? Knowing I wanted to do a good job on this I made sure I slept well, ate well, exercised, got into shape so I would be as creative as possible.

This is the Physical leg of the daily practice I often write about.

The mind, the body, my relationships, are always linked together. When one is bleeding or leaking energy, the entire “body” collapses.

Will it get done? I don’t even care. It doesn’t matter to me. I could die tomorrow.

I will never mortgage my present in exchange for future fantasies.

This is the Spiritual side of the daily practice I often write about.

Why even write about this process before I do anything with it? What if it never happens (which is likely)?

Because Process is Art.

Because I already did something with it. I wrote it. And I wrote it using all of the ideas I’ve written about for years.

If it fails or succeeds from here, I’ll write about that also.

It already got done. Because this weekend I loved every minute of it. Because, I don’t know … “tears of rain”.


James Altucher is the author of the bestselling book Choose Yourself, editor at The Altucher Report and host of the popular podcast, The James Altucher Show, which takes you beyond business and entrepreneurship by exploring what it means to be human and achieve well-being in a world that is increasingly complicated. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Image courtesy of Min An.